Court's Blog

FIXING A RECALCITRANT WORD TEMPLATE

2012-02-22T12:38:00.001-08:00

This week I will pick a question from a dedicated reader, try to explain it and provide a resolution to the problem. Loyal reader Shirley writes: When I open my computer, Word has taken it into its head, so to speak, to open and show a long-deleted document. I've gone to settings but haven't been successful in finding how to stop this aberration.
I am not sure this is a computer related question. It seems to be more of a religious, philosophical or metaphysical question. Is there life after deletion? Does a good file influence the present long after it is gone? Or perhaps a file, after meeting its demise in a horrible manner such as being cut down in its prime with a delete button, haunts the very physical place it previously existed in. (Martha, call an exorcist)
It could be something much simpler. Sometimes a person, who writes with great passion, such as myself, can be so enamored with their work that in their mind they see a favorite and beloved document even though it isn’t really there. (This is called phantom reading.)Moving from the existential to the mundane, there is the possibility that the secret document forwarder, (this is for all you conspiracy theorist out there) that sends all deleted documents to the Department of Homeland Security for analysis under the Patriot Act, has developed a minor malfunction and your deleted document simply got stuck in your computer. If this is the case, consider yourself very fortunate.
Now that we have covered the most likely causes for your problem there are a few far more boring possibilities. As you remember, there was a time when MS Word would open automatically to a new and empty document. This empty document is actually a template of a blank page. In the hidden recesses of the program, this magical empty template is named Normal.dot for Word 2003 and Normal.dotm in 2007. This template is marked as a READ only file. READ only simply prevents the file from being modified. Yes, I know that all of you out there, type into this template and modify it. But what actually happens is that Normal.dotm opens, renames itself Document1.docx. That way when the document is saved, either by you or autosave, it is saved as Document1.docx instead of changing the template Normal.dotm. The next time that MS Word is opened Normal.dotm pops up again as a new blank sheet, renames itself and is ready to receive your literary outpouring. What I believe happened in this case, is that Normal.dotm forgot to rename itself Document1.doc. So your document became a Normal.dotm clone with bad genes. Now every time MS Word opens, it pulls up and displays this misbegotten aberration as you so aptly put it. Fortunately there is a way to correct this problem. If using XP, Vista or Win 7 click on Start and then search. Type in Normal.dot (Word 2003) or Normal.dotm (Word 2007) in the look for files. Click search. Once the file is found, right click on the file, a menu will appear, and at the bottom of the menu, click on Properties. About half way down the Properties window there is a section labeled Location: it will have the path to the Normal.dot template displayed. It will look something like C:\Documents and Settings\Owner\Application Data\Microsoft\Templates if using WIN XP or C:\Documents and Settings\UserName\Application Data\Microsoft\Templates, Vista / Win 7. Record this location for later reference. At the bottom of the properties page, make sure that the Read Only box is not checked. Close the Properties window.
Open MS Word. Once the devilish document is open, delete all the text so that you have a blank document. Now click on File, Save As and give the document the File name, Normal. Save it as file type Document Template (*.dotm) Make sure to navigate the Save In so that you are saving the new Normal.dotm in the same place as the old Normal.dotm. In the example above that would be C:\Documents and Settings\Owner\Application Data\Microsoft\Templates, yours may be something different. A message will appear warning you that a file with that name already exists, do you really, really, really want to overwrite it? Click yes.
Another way to achieve the same end is to search the computer for Normal.dotm and delete it. Now open MS Word and the program upon not finding normal.dotm will proceed to create a fresh new normal.dotm and Word will open with our familiar blank page just waiting for us to pour out the prose we wish to express.
When posting questions, please provide as much information as possible. Operating System, Program version, hardware installed and a step-by-step description of the problem. Questions of general interest will become blog topics from time to time.
Don’t forget to forward this blog to all your less than computer savvy friends and neighbors. And if you or any of your friends want a how to computer reference book that can proudly sit in the Throne Room as enjoyable reading material, purchase a copy of Grumbles From The Keyboard. Click on the Buy Now button to the right or go to www.grumblesfromthekeyboard.com or amazon.com or www.bn.com

It’s All About The Numbers!

2012-02-15T13:51:00.001-08:00

Numbers. Everything we do boils down to numbers. How much we make, how many of something we need or want, statistics, records, quantities etc. We wake up in the morning and check the time. We calculate how many cups of coffee we can have and whether or not we have time to read that great computer column blog, courtnederveld.blogspot.com.
Numbers. They are so important. We check the lotto numbers to see if we have to go to work tomorrow. Goals are set around specific numbers. I will mow the lawn by noon. I need four new tires on the car. Dinner tonight will cost approximately some number so I should go to the bank. The electric bill arrived today and there are way too many numbers on the amount due line.
Numbers. Even a columnist pays attention to numbers. There has to be a column every week. How many columns ahead should I be? Two, three, four? How many words in a column? How many people emailed me and said they enjoy or hate my column. (Martha, how do I open this email program?) How many readers or followers do I really have?
Remember the story about taking a penny, double it the next day, then double that again the next day for a month? At the end of thirty days you have a million dollars. (of course the downside is the weight of a million pennies would probably kill you) Email chain letters are the same thing. One person emails something to every address in their contacts list, they send it to everyone in their email address book and then everyone they sent it to sends it to everyone in their address book and so on. The numbers of recipients expands exponentially.
So how can this power of exponentialism (I made that up, but it could be the basis of a new doctrine. Remember you saw it here first.) be put to use?
This weeks blog is the twenty-fourth posts and in the newspaper this week is the 356^th weekly column of Bits and Bytes published in the Charlotte Sun Newspaper in Southwest Florida. Consider it my six year anniversary. My editor tells me that the subscribers receiving my columns total 40,000 readers. Here is what I would like to do to test my new theory of exponentialism. On the right side of the blog are some buttons that say Share on Facebook or Tweet this blog. Click on one and share it with friends that may find it useful. If they don’t use Facebook or Twitter then click on File in the toolbar at the top of the browser and click on Send link by email and send friends a link to the blog so they can read it themselves. Let me know if you like the column, hate the column, (be gentle) or just don’t care. But let me know by posting a reply to my post. Let me know if a particular topic might be of interest, or perhaps a prior topic should be expanded. Some of the topics I am toying with are Firefox, performance issues, (the computers, not yours) and some “how things work” columns.
I will compile all the responses I get, and make sure future blog posts are about items that interest my readers. Now, to prove my new theory, send an email to everyone in your email book, and ask him or her to visit courtnederveld.blogspot.com and ask them to send me a note as well. I want to see email from every corner of the globe.
One last thing. Loyal reader Shirley notes, I read your interesting column today and am reminded that when I leave for Holland Sunday. I shall miss the Q&A column you are working on for the Sun Herald in a few weeks. Another fan of Bits and Bytes, Eli writes, I read your articles in the Charlotte Sun but have been away for the past month so today's was the first article I've read recently. What can you do to make sure that you don’t fail to see a single column?
Remember, if traveling away from Charlotte County this summer, Bits and Bytes columns can be read at http://ee.yoursun.net/login.aspx?. There is a free trial subscription or for a nominal fee access to the Sun Newspaper can be had year round. This is an electronic version of the newspaper. It is laid out exactly as you would see it if you were holding the paper in your hands. Actually even easier, since the only thing in your hands is a cup of coffee and your computer mouse. Don’t miss a single exciting issue.
Don’t forget, if you don’t get the paper or are planning to stop, many of the best columns are available in Grumbles From The Keyboard or How I Learned To Stop Worrying And Love My Computer. This is my latest book and takes over eighty-nine columns, updates them, expands them and categorizes them by topic. A bonus vocabulary builder is written right in so the pesky grandkids will be amazed when you start rattling on about motherboards, search engines and other mysterious topics. The book is available by clicking on the link to the right, amazon.com, Barnes and Noble, special order from your favorite bookstore or even from the Bean on 41 where some of the best coffees and sandwiches are served.
I’m counting on you and you and you!

Who’s Smarter Than A Computer User?

2012-02-09T09:22:00.001-08:00

Walk into any bookstore today and there will be row after row of self-improvement books. Improve your self-esteem, improve your vocabulary, improve your spelling etc, etc, etc. Just plop down a measly $29.95 and tomorrow will find a better you. Of course for just $19.95 you can get your hands on Grumbles From The Keyboard, or How I Learned To Stop Worrying And Love My Computer which is written for normal people and not the technogeeks with their separate language and magic fingers. If you are in need of serious improvement this can get to be pretty expensive. (Martha, where’s the credit card?) But like any project, large or small, it must be tackled in small pieces. Let’s take a look at some little pieces that your computer can help you with.

One skill that is invaluable today is the ability to type. Yes, I know the present term is “keyboarding” but in my school years it was called typing. And like anything we do, the secret to doing it well is testing ourselves and measuring our improvement. Fortunately, today there are myriad programs available to improve our typing, I mean keyboarding skills. If you would like to brush up on your keyboarding, go to http://www.askmesoft.com and download MaxType Pro Typing Tutor 3.0. This program installs easily and offers both Typing Test and Extreme modes. You can practice your keyboard skills with a variety of basic exercises, including typing out song lyrics and articles. The testing window displays a virtual keyboard and highlights all keystrokes as you go, then displays statistics such as speed and accuracy. Once you feel confident, you can either take an exam or type against a computerized opponent in Extreme mode. Better yet, it’s FREE!

Typing can help us communicate by carrying our words. From our words, the reader draws a perception as to our intelligence. A sentence such as “Hey, Dude, you’re getting a Dell,” might be humorous but our mental picture of the speaker doesn’t lean towards brilliance. There are, by some estimates, close to seven million words in the English language. The average American is considered well versed when their vocabulary approaches 5000 words. Years ago, I used to carry a Readers Digest magazine around because they had a section called Word Power. I would read and memorize the words and definitions. Each day I would try to use those words where and when appropriate. Today thanks to the marvels of computers, it isn’t necessary to wait for the Readers Digest to arrive each month. Just log in to http://www.readersdigest.ca/wordpower.html and play their Word Power Challenge each day. If you register (FREE) they keep a running score that allows you to check your progress.

Now that we have the means to communicate we need to make sure we are accurate. For example, if we needed to tell a storm shutter company how many windows we had in the house we would want to add up all the windows correctly. Or if we paid for something at the store with cash and expected change back, we would want to know how much we should receive. I realize we could rely on the clerk but who knows what level of math skill they have? So how do we improve our math skills? For this we can go to http://www.scolasoft.com/mathflight/?go=tutor and download a fifteen day trial of Math Flight 2.2. This program uses airplanes, and dirigibles and other cool things that you control by answering math questions. This one is great for kids, but I had fun playing it too. (I’ll never grow up) If it meets all your needs then after fifteen days it will cost you a whole $10.

Finally, here is a neat little bonus. Loyal reader Bill sent me a link that had me in a state of shock. This site tracks in real time, all the lightning strikes in Florida. I know that Florida is the lightning capital of the U.S. but I had no idea what that meant. During a recent storm, over five hundred lightning strikes were being recorded PER MINUTE. As I write this there are ten strokes per minute being recorded. If you are as charged up as I am with these numbers, bolt to http://www.flamedia.com/lightning/light.htm.

So, until next time, consider, if a train journeys east with two citizens at five o’clock and an automobile departs Sarasota at four o’clock in a thunderstorm ……

How Can I Search For What I Want?

2012-01-31T08:38:00.001-08:00

As most of us do from time to time, I misplaced my sunglasses the other day. I could not remember the last time I wore them, nor where I might have laid them down. Looking out the front door, I could see by the intensity of the sunlight that I was definitely going to need them. (Yes, I have a spare but I couldn’t find them either.) First place to check was the car. Why I did that I don’t know because it is a scientifically proven fact that what ever you are looking for will be in the last place you look, not the first. (This is a universal law, not a theory.) If only we could figure out what the last place was, it would save hours of fruitless searching. As you already know, no sunglasses in the car.

I stood there trying to think of where they might have been and wishing I could simply Google it. Wait a minute maybe I could Google it. Not literally of course, but why couldn’t I apply the same principles to my search that Google does when someone attempts to search the World Wide Web for a specific topic? For the unwashed out there, Google is an Internet search engine. It contains an index to perhaps ninety percent of the all the Web sites in the world. There are others, Yahoo, Alta Vista, MSNsearch to name a few, but I happen to like Google and it seems others do as well. How do I know that? More and more I overhear people say, “I’ll Google that and see …..” I have yet to hear anyone say, “Let me MSNsearch that a minute.” So off to my virtual Google search I go to see if I can find my sunglasses.

First thing to do is to pick a topic to search. The topic for me was Sunglasses. So I type sunglasses in my mental Google and trillions of hits come back as to where a pair of sunglasses might be found. There are sunglasses in the house, in other peoples houses, in cars, stores etc. So that search was pretty meaningless simply because it was far too wide-ranging. I needed to narrow the field down by setting parameters on my search. Next I tried sunglasses and my home address. Google automatically puts the word “and” between the search terms and so this search limited my results to possible places to look in my house. (now we are getting somewhere) But this is still too broad a search field. The key to finding specific items is to narrow the search as much as possible.

To limit the field even more, I used the minus sign. Google recognizes the minus sign as indicating an excluded item. So, in my case I typed in, sunglasses address –bathrooms, since I had used the facilities earlier and hadn’t seen the sunglasses in the bathroom. So now I had narrowed the search down to the rooms in my house that were not bathrooms. (getting closer) Next I wanted to reduce my search to an even tighter range. I typed in sunglasses address –bathrooms +countertops. Google sees the + sign as a required search string even though it may be considered extraneous (every house has countertops) and normally might not look for that term. The results told me there were only two countertops in my house. Victory was near!

I was so confident, that before I went to look, I actually sat at my computer and went to www.google.com and this time typed in “Happy Days” using quotation marks before and after. Google then considers the words between the quote marks as a complete phase and looks for results with that exact phrase in it. This search brought up the lyrics to the song, exactly what I was looking for. Singing the words to “Happy Days”, it took me only a minute to search both of the countertops in the house. Sure enough, no sunglasses to be found.

What’s the moral of the story? Sometimes you just can’t get what you want.

If you would like to see a specific topic covered, leave a post with your questions. Questions with general appeal will be included in upcoming blog posts.

Many of the topics covered here can also be found in my new book, Grumbles From The Keyboard or How I Learned To Stop Worrying And Love My Computer. It is available at the website www.grumblesfromthekeyboard.com, amazon.com, barnes and noble or request it from your favorite bookstore.

ISBN numbers are:

ISBN-13: 978-1467985895
ISBN-10: 1467985899

Book Release and Signing

2012-01-25T17:37:00.001-08:00

Folks living in Punta Gorda, FL are cordially invited to The Bean on 41, Wednesday February 1st, 2012 for a book signing event. Award Winning Author Court Nederveld will be signing copies of "Grumbles From The Keyboard or How I Learned To Stop Worrying And Love My Computer." It's the book you've sort of built at home. A compendium of 89 columns from the Bits and Bytes newspaper column updated, expanded and categorized. Own yours today.. Live Dulcimer Music. See you there!

When: 9:30 a.m. till Noon. Wednesday February 1, 2012
Where: The Bean on 41, 2705 Tamiami Trail, Unit 413, Punta Gorda, FL

Cuisine: Sandwiches
Meals Served: Breakfast and Lunch

Can't make the signing? Grumbles From The Keyboard is available at www.grumblesfromthekeyboard.com or amazon.com or barnes and noble.

To Your Health: Fire Up Your Computer!

2012-01-24T13:07:00.001-08:00

The following is an award winning essay for Costs of Care.org. The site is dedicated to bring transparency and common sense to the myriad test, drugs, procedures and other medical issues that arise everyday for patients, doctors and hospitals. Many times this confusion results in costs to patients that are far outside the realm of common sense. The premise of the essay contest was: “How cost-awareness leads to high value car AND cost savings. “ While the information related in the essay is important, the link to this blog is that the savings were brought about by the use of a computer and the Internet. Never before have patients had access to the medical world as they do today. Knowledge is power, or in this example, not only a significant cost savings but serves to demonstrate that patients need to at the very least monitor their medical care and with the power of the Internet they can actually effect change. So fire up the computer and see if you are receiving the best care for best cost. And if you need some easy reading about what and how to do some things related to your digital domestique, click on the link for Grumbles From The Keyboard to learn about a very novice friendly computer reference book. And it’s fun to read!

Essay:

Hypertension was the trigger that forced medical cost awareness to the forefront. My doctor decided that with a rise in blood pressure it would be prudent to proscribe a blood pressure drug and order a nuclear stress test. With only a catastrophic insurance policy with a $5000 deductible it was imperative from our personal financial state that the cost of both the drugs and the procedure be known up front. The prescription was the first thing we faced. The script for Lotrel was written and a trip to the pharmacy revealed an out of pocket cost of $200 for a thirty day supply. This was way beyond my means especially factoring in that this drug would most likely be required indefinitely. Relating this information to the doctor resulted in a prescription for the generic Norvasc and the pharmacy cost was to be $138 for 30 days. Still beyond household finances. I then began to research Lotrel and Norvasc and discovered that they are two old blood pressure medicines, amlodipine besylate and benazepril hydrochloride. I requested that my doctor write the script for these two separate drugs and I now take them daily at a cost of $7 for a thirty day supply of both drugs.

Having successfully challenged the cost of prescriptions my eyes were wide open as I began the quest for a nuclear stress test. My doctor, fully aware that I would be a self-pay referred me to a colleague in our area. A phone call began with introductions and the statement that because I would be a self-pay patient it was imperative that I know the cost of the procedure before hand. The doctor was unable to immediately provide a cost and after checking with staff requested $2500. I reminded him that I was uninsured. He replied that it could be done for $1900.

I told the doctor that I wanted to be sure I understood. I asked, “if I walked in with a check for that amount I would walk out with the test results?” The physician responded that I would need to come in for a consultation first. Cost $250. I asked again, “if I walked in with $2150 would I walk out with the test results?” Again the reply was that there would have to be a follow up visit to review the results. Cost $250. Hesitation must have been detected in my voice or the doctor detected a possible mark, because the doctor then said that perhaps I didn’t need a nuclear stress test and a regular stress test would suffice. Cost $800. Consultation and follow up not included. I then asked what would occur if the regular stress test revealed nothing. His response was that we would do the nuclear stress test to be sure. The inverse was also true; if the regular stress test revealed any anomaly then a nuclear stress test would be ordered to provide further information. Total cost out of pocket would be $3450.

Feeling much like a cow on a milking machine I began to test the theory that medical procedures were money making enterprises and as such should be available as a commodity. Using the Internet to begin my search, the only specific criteria required was that the location of the facility performing the test be within a short drive from home. It took very little time to find and confirm a company that would provide a nuclear stress test sans consultation, follow up and would willingly and promptly forward the results to my primary care physician. To verify that all was understood I informed then that I would have a check for the exact amount they quoted and no further remuneration would be forthcoming. All was as stated and the procedure was done. Total cost was $938.11.

While these two episodes have been the only challenges faced so far, having related these stories to friends and family, they also have begun to challenge costs and procedures with very similar savings.

It will be several years before Medicare is available to me and until that time I intend to challenge every prescription or procedure as to necessity and cost.

Grumbles From The Keyboard: How I Learned To Stop Worrying And Love My Computer (Volume 1)
Grumbles From The Keyboard

Beeeeep Beeeep have you backed up today?

2012-01-18T17:17:00.001-08:00

Beeeeep…..Beeeeep…….Beeeeep. I was sitting in my bathrobe this morning, drinking a cup of coffee and reading the local rag. I mean the Charlotte Sun. When this awful noise crashed into my morning routine. Beeeeeep……Beeeeeep……Beeeeep. There it was again. I jumped up; or more accurately, got up. That early in the morning not everything wants to function quite as sprightly as it once did. I walked out the front door to see what was going on. Coming down our street in reverse was a large moving truck.

Beeeep….Beeeep….Beeeeep. Now I am not superstitious but this was a bit weird. Have you ever had one of those days where at the end of the day you say, “I should buy a lottery ticket.” One of those days when seemingly random events have a recurring theme embedded in them. For example: I client of mine gave me his phone number. Later that day I went to his house and his house number was the same number as the last four digits of his phone number. Then oddly enough, when setting up a broadband account, they asked him for the last four digits of his social security number and, you guessed it, it was the same number.

Beeeeeep…..Beeeeeep…….Beeeeep So here I am standing in my driveway, listening to a truck make that terribly annoying noise and it hits me. The truck is BACKING UP. This is the second similarity in two random events. Not twelve hours prior to this, a business client of mine had called me and told me his PC had crashed during a power outage and now it would not restart. I had run over to help him but the PC was in need of a complete re-installation of the operating system. I looked up and asked for all the BACK UPS so I could rebuild the system for him. “BACK UPS, what BACK UPS?” he said. Fortunately PC CPR (that’s a computer/medical term) was able to get the system BACK UP and limping along sufficiently to do an immediate BACK UP of all critical business information. Happy ending so far.

Beeeeeep…..Beeeeep……Beeeeeep. What was this series of events trying to tell me? As I pondered the question I turned and went BACK UP to the house. Wait a minute, is that the third event? I realized that while my PCs are all supposed to automatically BACK UP all important data, it had been awhile since I actually checked the BACK UPs myself. How do I run my BACK UPs? First, since I have more than one machine networked together, I have software on my machines that takes all the important files from one PC and copies it to the other on a regular schedule. This means that each machine on the network has a complete copy of all the important files on each machine. Lose one machine, no files are lost, and as soon as a new machine is installed, I am BACK UP and running. Second, the critical files or the ones that would be nearly impossible to recreate, are burned to CD ROM from time to time. Finally, on rare occasions I will make an image of the entire hard drive (no this does not mean I take the PC apart and take a picture of the hard drive) and store it on the network.

Now, let’s BACK UP a minute. You don’t have multiple PCs on a network. You don’t have a CD Burner, and finally your camera doesn’t take pictures of bits and bytes. When your PC crashes you want to be BACK UP right away too. What should you do? Go to www.skydrive.com/ and open a free Windows Live Account. (“Did he say FREE, Martha?”) There you can store twenty five Gigs, (that is a lot of space) or the equivalent of about thirty thousand copies of this article for free. Not only would your data be secure and BACKED UP, but if necessary you could access your files anywhere in the world. Isn’t the Internet wonderful?

Need even more space? Take a look at online backup companies such as Mozyhome or Carbonite just to name a few. Many Antivirus companies also offer online storage as does Dell and other computer manufacturers. Prices are reasonable and they load a small software package on the PC that automatically backups all new files. Then should the unthinkable happen, all the stored files can be restored to the new computer or repaired PC.

Hopefully you have picked up the recurring theme embedded in the seemingly random preceding paragraphs. I have to head BACK UP to the office now, but later on, I think I will go out and buy a lottery ticket. Beeeeep……Beeeeep…….Beeeeep!

Tick Tock: Do We Really Know What Time It Is?

2012-01-12T02:18:00.001-08:00

Tick tock. Tick tock. “Time Has Come Today” sang the Chambers Brothers in 1968. Chicago harmonized with “Does Anybody Know What Time It Is?” Then followed their question with “Does Anybody Care?” Van Halen’s musical entreaty was “Don’t Waste My Time.” In 1974 Jim Croce sang about saving Time In A Bottle. Time, is something that we either have too much of or don’t have enough of. How many times have you said, “I just plain ran out of time?” Or “I didn’t realize what time it was.” Or my favorite, “Time just got away from me.”

Tick Tock, tick tock. What is time? Time keeps everything from happening all at once. Without time you wouldn’t be able to remember the past. Or for that matter, even with time, why can’t we remember the future? Time also has different speeds. Time flies, or time just drags by. We even say that time stands still. Sometimes we lose time, or gain time. We give certain time specific events names such as Christmas Time or Bed Time or Lunch Time. So with all this importance placed on Time, how do we know what time it is?

Tick Tock, tick tock. Check your wristwatch. What time does it say? Now, look at the kitchen clock. Is it ahead or behind your watch? How about the clock in the dining room? Still a different time? Now look at your VCR. I bet for most of you it says twelve o’clock. (Is he a mind reader Martha?) “So what,” you say? Does it really matter if we are five or ten minutes late or early? Two thousand years ago, two buddies would say, meet me under the big tree at the new moon. So you would get there a few days early, camp and wait because no one could actually tell the exact moment of the new moon. Time then was plus or minus a few days. (So what are five or ten minutes?)

All right, how do I actually know what time it is? The genuine official keeper of time is the United States Naval Observatory. Here they currently have fifty-nine atomic clocks from which they calculate an average and answer Chicago’s question. This is the official world time. And here is the answer to your next trivia question. Of the fifty-nine atomic clocks currently used, ten of them are hydrogen masers and forty-nine are HP-5071 cesiums. (Gesundheit!) No, I don’t know what a hydrogen maser is either. But, these clocks must be accurate because it is predicted that the average of these clocks will be off by one second every six million years. So…

If you are running Windows XP, double click on the time in the lower right hand corner. A dialog box will open up and there will be a tab labeled Internet Time. Click on it and put a check in the box that says automatically synchronize with an Internet Time Server. Below that you can see two servers listed, time.windows.com or time.nist.gov. Choose which ever you wish and let your computer set its clock with the atomic clocks and display the most accurate time currently possible. (Now go set the rest of the clocks in the house.) For those using Windows Vista or 7, click on the date and time in the lower right corner. A box opens up displaying a clock and calendar. Click on the link labeled “Change Time and Date Settings. A new dialogue box opens and there are buttons to change time and date and time zone. At the top of the dialogue box are some additional tabs one allows us to display multiple clocks and the other allows us to change the Internet time server that our prompt digital domestique uses to keep accurate its clock.

Until next time. And, oh by the way, don’t be late.

Books by Court Nederveld available below and at Amazon.com

Grumbles From The Keyboard or How I Learned To Stop Worrying And Love My Computer

Epicuria: Adventures That Really Cook!.

2012-01-08T18:10:00.000-08:00

Book Release And Signing

Folks living in Port Charlotte, FL are cordually invited to Miller's Murphy Bed Outlet January 11th, 2012 for a book signing event. Author Court Nederveld will be signing copies of "Grumbles From The Keyboard or How I Learned To Stop Worrying And Love My Computer." Wine and Cheese will be served, Live Dulcimer Music and a visit from Rodger Dodger Dog between 6 - 7 p.m. So bring the cameras and the kiddies. Jan Britland author of the Rodger Dodger children's books will also be there.
When: 6 - 9 p.m. Wednesday January 11, 2012
Where: Miller's Murphy Bed Outlet 4014 Tamiami Trail, Port Charlotte, FL
Can't make the signing? Grumbles From The Keyboard is available at www.grumblesfromthekeyboard.com or amazon.com or barnes and noble.

2012-01-04T19:50:00.000-08:00

A Computer Can Make You A Space Scientist!

Have you evernoticed that when people are introduced to other people, the intro goessomething like this? This is John Doe, he is a pedicurist, or meet Jane Doe,she is the head of marketing for the Women’s Fashion Department at Wal-Mart, orthis is Sam Doe, he is retired but is consulting for the golfers at Riverside. Now what didthat all mean. John paints toenails, Jane sells women’s lingerie and Sam is acaddy at the golf course. How people see us is defined by what we do. And ifwhat we do isn’t sexy enough, we change the description to give it a bit morepizzazz.

Howwould you like to be introduced this way? Hi, this is Susie Brilliant. She is aresearcher for SETI, the very important project that searches the heavens forextraterrestrial intelligence. Your mother would probably shorten it to “Mydaughter the space scientist.” Think about sitting at a bar and listening toendless chatter about how many barrels of beer were delivered or how manyorders were processed etc. You slightly nod your head and mention, “ by the wayI processed several megabits of data from the Arecibo Radio Telescope today andfound several promising anomalies that may be indicative of extraterrestrialintelligence.” (What did he say Martha?)

Whatdoes all that have to do with computers? Most of you, especially those withbroadband or DSL connections, use only the bare minimum capabilities of yourcomputer. How often have you seen the screen saver pop up and run for hourswhile you are off doing something else? To prove my point, if you are runningWindows XP, perform a CTLR/ALT/Delete to bring up the task manager, then lookat the performance tab and the section that says CPU usage and I am willing tosay that it displays no more than four to eight percent of total capacity. Thisis especially true of those that use computers just for email and surfing theweb. Why not put this ninety to ninety five percent idle computing power togood use?

Now you can.SETI, the Search for Extraterrestrial Intelligence uses the Arecibo RadioTelescope in Puerto Rico to collect gazillionsof bits of data representing radio signals from all over the galaxy. Withinthese radio signals they are looking for the one signal that might say “HelloEarth, this is Tau Ceti II calling.” Normally, this would require massivesupercomputers to sort and define these signals in an effort to find the onesignal that might represent a hello from ET. The cost however would beprohibitive. SETI has developed a method where by pieces of this data can bedownloaded from the Internet to millions of personal computers. Once on yourcomputer, instead of your screen saver coming up during idle time, a smallprogram analyzes and reports back on what it finds in the data downloaded fromSETI. The program immediately gives up the task if you come back and need touse the computer to read your email.

Imagineyour excitement if you happen to be sitting in front of your computer and allof a sudden a message pops up “TAKE ME TO YOUR LEADER.” What would ET know? ETis from out of town so you could just say, “hey, you are speaking to him.”Wouldn’t it be fun to be Global Potentate at least for a day? To learn more about this project go http://setiathome.berkeley.edu/.There you can download the program that looks like a screen saver as itcrunches data from Arecibo.You can join the other five million plus researchers from around the world andmaybe, just maybe, you (or your computer) will be the one that first says helloto ET.

Don't forget: Grumbles From The Keyboard is available now. Click on the Buy Now button to purchase yours today!

2011-12-27T08:43:00.000-08:00

Grumbles From The Keyboard reviewed by Charlotte Sun.

Grumbles From The Keyboard was reviewed by Rachael Taft in the Charlotte Sun today. See the review here: http://www.grumblesfromthekeyboard.com/images/sunbookreview.pdf and order your copy either from the blog or www.grumblesfromthekeyboard.com or www.amazon.com or www.bn.com.

2011-12-26T12:07:00.000-08:00

Are you ready for the NEW YEAR?

Court asVincent Van Gogh

New Year resolutions. We allmake them; fewer still continue them and even less, perhaps none keep them all.An unknown author wrote, “Many people look forward to the new year for a newstart on old habits.” And anotherunknown author said, “A New Year's resolution is something that goes in oneyear and out the other.” But we are different aren’t we? We are computer users.We have a certain discipline that moves us forward.

Besides, I have discoveredanother method that allows me to keep my resolutions. I only make resolutionsthat can be accomplished in a very short defined time frame. Resolutions thathave a beginning and an end spelled out in very succinct terms. For example: aperson that sets an untenable resolution would be one that says, “I will loseweight this year.” No time frame, no defined actions, and no end date. Nowonder we can’t keep these resolutions. But if we have a resolution defined,actionable and with a clear conclusion to it, we can accomplish it, and havethe satisfaction of knowing we succeeded at something.

Let me help you with some NewYears Resolutions that you can accomplish while reading this column.

Resolution one: Since heatand moisture are two killers of computers, I resolve to check the area aroundthe PC for anything that might contribute heat or moisture to the machine. Aheat vent blowing on the PC or maybe a clothes dryer that heats up the areaaround the PC. Next take a look at the vents on the PC and around the coolingfan or fans to make sure that they are not blocked or filled with dust or dirt.Use a can of compressed air to blow the dust out of the fan and grill areas.

Resolution two: I will cleanmy mouse. If using a mechanical mouse, cleaning the goop from inside the mousecan prevent the pointer from moving erratically. Unscrew the ring on the bottomof the mouse and remove the ball. Inside there will be two or three plasticrollers. Scrape the accumulated gunk off the plastic rollers and then carefullyuse a cue tip dipped in some isopropyl alcohol to clean the rollers back totheir original condition. Reinsert the ball and tighten the retaining ring backin place. Using a wireless mouse? When was the last time you changed the batteries if it has been a while change them now while everything is working so it doesn't die in the middle of that all important issue paper the president asked you for.

Resolution three: I will keepa clean keyboard. Pick up the keyboard, turn it upside down and shake it. Thiswill allow the crumbs from your lunch to fall out, along with any paper clips,soda can tops, or small children that might have gotten into the keyboard. Nextuse some compressed air to remove dust and dirt. And if the keyboard is in astate that you are considering purchasing a new one, you can put the keyboardinto the dishwasher, upside down, run it through a cycle and then use ahairdryer to dry it immediately afterwards. There is a 50/50 chance that yourkeyboard will work afterwards. If it does then you have a really clean keyboard.If it doesn’t, go buy that new keyboard you were thinking about anyway.

Resolution four: I willmaintain my computer monitor. If using a CRT monitor, (not one of the flatscreens) then check to make sure that vents are clear, wipe the case withsomething like 409 or Simple Green and if it has a degauss button push it. Ifyou have an LCD monitor, use the same steps as above, but use isopropyl alcoholapplied to a soft towel to GENTLY wipe the grease from the screen.

Resolution five: I will checkmy Power Surge Strip. Take a look at the strip. Look for any spots that looklike they may have gotten hot or had something spilled on them. A damaged surgestrip can still allow current to flow but may not protect your equipment in theevent of a line surge. If you have any doubts, replace the strip. Better yetconsider a battery backup. A good battery backup will have surge suppressionbuilt in and in the event of a power failure, will give you five or ten minutesto shut the PC down normally instead of crashing.

Resolution six: I will backupany critical data that I would be hard pressed to reconstruct. For example,immediately make a backup copy of your email address book. Now backup all yourFavorites. How about all the documents that may be critical, back those up nowas well. If nothing else put this information on a CD or a second hard-drive.

Now, make and do all theseresolutions while you have my column in your hand. In no time flat all thesetasks will be complete, the PC will love you and the satisfaction of doing ajob well and completing it will keep you smiling for a week. Plus, if you actnow, think of the look on your friends faces when you tell them you made sixresolutions for the New Year and kept every single one.

One more very important resolution. These and many more tips and tricks are available in Grumbles From The Keyboard or How I Learned To Stop Worrying And Love My Computer. Buy it today, in fact there is a button to the right of this post that will get a copy on its way to you. Or visit www.grumblesfromthekeyboard.com, amazon.com or barnesandnoble.com.

Hello 2012!

2011-12-18T18:06:00.000-08:00

The Night Before Christmas in Computerland

Twas the night before Christmas when all through the house,

lights flashed on the tower and even the mouse.
The Webcams were ready, installed with great care.
In hopes that grandkids would be virtually there.

The children were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of computer games danced in their heads;

Mamma in her rocker, a netbook on her lap.

To check Santa’s route on Norads’ tracking map.

Last minute shopping, I knew it would matter,
Receipts from the printer were spit with a clatter.
The e-mail program began to beep and flash,
Away to the desktop I flew in a dash,
An e-mail from Santa, I pulled from the cache.

The sleigh was loaded, the springs sitting low
Boxes of computer games, only kids know.

Dead Space II for Tommy, Pokemon for Sue,
Xbox, Wii, Playstation and Nintendo too.

Neither Mamma nor I had Santa forgot,

A wireless keyboard and mouse in the lot.
From a webcam mounted some far away place
An image so small, across the screen it did race.

What could it be I wondered, what would appear,
But a miniature sleigh, and eight tiny reindeer,

With a little old driver, so lively and quick,
I knew in a moment it must be St. Nick.

I toggled the volume and turned it up loud
As his digital facade flew over the clouds

At the speed of Moore’slaw his coursers they came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;
"Now, Dell! now, Gates! now, Jobs and Wosniak!
On, Bezos! on Ellison! on, Hewlett and Packard!
To the top of the toolbar! the top of the screen!

Now pixels are changing, amazed by it all!

The picture expanded as closer he drew

His exact location surely only he knew.
But Google Street view offered a hopeful clue.
Just a click of the mouse, our house was in view.

With the sleigh full of downloads, upgrades and such

St. Nicholas too, might it be just too much?
The broadband was humming the router secure
A shiny new computer I’m sure will allure

Firewalls open for the jolly red elf.

Presents are coming, surely some for myself.
And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof
The prancing and pawing of each little hoof.

A mystery for sure I pondered aloud.
Could Santa be real an answer I vowed.
An Internet search for the jolly St. Nick
“Santa Claus: could he be real” should turn the trick

Pages and pages of results did appear

To read them all might take ‘til Christmas next year.
My eyelids grew heavy then started to droop,
A short nap was needed so I could regroup.

Foggy and confused from my slumber I stirred,

“You’ve got mail,” from the speakers I heard.
An e-mail from Santa’s own smartphone it said,
A tight schedule barred his waking me he pled.
Presents for all under the tree he had spread.
Click here for a live video feed of the sled.

The digital image danced and sparkled bright.

Santa driving his sleigh on its magical flight.
But I heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight,
"Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good-night."

2011-12-15T19:12:00.000-08:00

IT"S HERE! Around 4 pm and there was a delivery from UPS. That's right, 100 copies of Grumbles From The Keyboard or How I Learned To Stop Worrying And Love My Computer. The book Charlotte County has been waiting for. 89 columns culled from over three hundred columns written over the last six years, updated, expanded and catagorized. Plus a few more interesting features. More information is available at www.grumblesfromthekeyboard.com Autographed copies of the book may be purchased at that address, or by contacting the author directly. Alternately it can be purchased at www.amazon.com, barnesandnoble.com and https://www.createspace.com/3732764. Look inside is available at amazon.com

There are only 87 left to autograph as of tonight. Makes a great Christmas present. Far better than that subscription to a weight loss magazine.

2011-12-14T11:30:00.000-08:00

Look What's Coming!

Due to arrive next week sometime is the book computer users have been waiting for. Grumbles From The Keyboard or How I learned to stop worrying and love my computer. From the author of the Bits and Bytes column read each week in the Charlotte Sun newspaper comes that collection of the best columns over the last six years. Updated, expanded and categorized this book can easily replace that folder of yellowing columns that were cut from the paper faithfully each week. There is also a vocabulary builder within each chapter so that you can discuss computer matters intelligently with out the grand kid looking at you with that "How did these people survive?" look. And that's not all folks. At the back of the book is a handy form for helping us remember all the websites, usernames and passwords that we never remember today.

For more information go to Grumbles From The Keyboard. The book is available at amazon.com, barnesandnoble.com or from www.grumblesfromthekeyboard.com where it will be autographed by the author.

Here is what Chris Porter, Executive Editor, Charlotte Sun Newspapers said about Grumbles From The Keyboard, "I can't count the number of people I've heard from who have been helped by Court Nederveld's helpful, useful and well-written columns in the Sun. We've received countless thank-you notes over the years, and that accounts for only a fraction of the number of people who have benefited from reading it. We really get the calls when we move his column and people can't find it."

2011-12-12T18:07:00.000-08:00

Tick Tock - Do We Really Know What Time It Is?

Ticktock. Tick tock. “Time Has Come Today” sang the Chambers Brothers in 1968. Chicago harmonized with“Does Anybody Know What Time It Is?” Then followed their question with “DoesAnybody Care?” Van Halen’s musical entreaty was “Don’t Waste My Time.” In 1974Jim Croce sang about saving Time In A Bottle. Time, is something that we eitherhave too much of or don’t have enough of. How many times have you said, “I justplain ran out of time?” Or “I didn’t realize what time it was.” Or my favorite,“Time just got away from me.”

TickTock, tick tock. What is time? Time keeps everything from happening all atonce. Without time you wouldn’t be able to remember the past. Or for thatmatter, even with time, why can’t we remember the future? Time also hasdifferent speeds. Time flies, or time just drags by. We even say that timestands still. Sometimes we lose time, or gain time. We give certain timespecific events names such as Christmas Time or Bed Time or Lunch Time. So withall this importance placed on Time, how do we know what time it is?

TickTock, tick tock. Check your wristwatch. What time does it say? Now, look at thekitchen clock. Is it ahead or behind your watch? How about the clock in thedining room? Still a different time? Now look at your VCR. I bet for most ofyou it says twelve o’clock. (Is he a mind reader Martha?) “So what,” you say?Does it really matter if we are five or ten minutes late or early? Two thousandyears ago, two buddies would say, meet me under the big tree at the new moon.So you would get there a few days early, camp and wait because no one couldactually tell the exact moment of the new moon. Time then was plus or minus afew days. (So what are five or ten minutes?)

Doyou have Onstar in your car, or GPS on your boat? Did you know that yourposition in the world to within a few feet is calculated by measuring the timeit takes for signals to bounce from you to satellites in orbit? StephenDick, the United States Naval Observatory's historian, points out that eachnanosecond – one billionth of a second -- of error translates into a GPS errorof one foot. If the satellite time is off by the same five or ten minutes asthe clocks in your house, Onstar might send your tow truck to Tampa,or Sea Tow might be looking in the Atlantic instead of Charlotte Harbor.

Allright, how do I actually know what time it is? The genuine official keeper oftime is the United States Naval Observatory. Here they currently havefifty-nine atomic clocks from which they calculate an average and answer Chicago’s question. Thisis the official world time. And here isthe answer to your next trivia question. Of the fifty-nine atomic clockscurrently used, ten of them are hydrogen masers and forty-nine are HP-5071cesiums. (Gesundheit!)No, I don’t know what a hydrogen maser is either. But, these clocks must beaccurate because it is predicted that the average of these clocks will be offby one second every six million years. So…

Ifyou are running Windows XP, double click on the time in the lower right hand corner.A dialog box will open up and there will be a tab labeled Internet Time. Clickon it and put a check in the box that says automatically synchronize with anInternet Time Server. Below that you can see two servers listed,time.windows.com or time.nist.gov. Choose which ever you wish and let yourcomputer set its clock with the atomic clocks and display the most accuratetime currently possible. (Now go set the rest of the clocks in the house.) Forthose using Windows Vista or 7, click on the date and time in the lower rightcorner. A box opens up displaying a clock and calendar. Click on the linklabeled “Change Time and Date Settings. A new dialogue box opens and there are buttonsto change time and date and time zone. At the top of the dialogue box are someadditional tabs one allows us to display multiple clocks and the other allowsus to change the Internet time server that our prompt digital domestique usesto keep accurate its clock.

Untilnext time. And, oh by the way, don’t belate.

2011-12-11T17:18:00.001-08:00

Have you completed your Christmas shopping yet? Is that chia pet calling your name? How about a bottle of corn remover for that one you love. No? Then how about an autographed copy of Epicuria: Adventures That Really Cook!? This is where adventure meets good eats. Intrigue leads to culinary delights and hints of romance denied are fulfilled by platters of gastronomic enchantment. The plot twists and turns, simplicity of challenge is prelude to complex solutions that only a kitchen can provide. Our hero, the "Traveler," is tasked, tricked, tormented and finally at the end of the story he.... Come on now, you really didn't think you were going to get the last page here? To get your very own, author autographed copy of Epicuria: Adventures That Really Cook! Check out How to Buy Epicuria at www.myepicuria.com. This book is also available at Amazon.com. Order it today!

2011-12-09T06:24:00.001-08:00

Want to be a Space Scientist? Now you can!

Have you evernoticed that when people are introduced to other people, the intro goessomething like this? This is John Doe, he is a pedicurist, or meet Jane Doe,she is the head of marketing for the Women’s Fashion Department at Wal-Mart, orthis is Sam Doe, he is retired but is consulting for the golfers at Riverside. Now what didthat all mean. John paints toenails, Jane sells women’s lingerie and Sam is acaddy at the golf course. How people see us is defined by what we do. And ifwhat we do isn’t sexy enough, we change the description to give it a bit morepizzazz.

Howwould you like to be introduced this way? Hi, this is Susie Brilliant. She is aresearcher for SETI, the very important project that searches the heavens forextraterrestrial intelligence. Your mother would probably shorten it to “Mydaughter the space scientist.” Think about sitting at a bar and listening toendless chatter about how many barrels of beer were delivered or how manyorders were processed etc. You slightly nod your head and mention, “ by the wayI processed several terrabytes of data from the Arecibo Radio Telescope todayand found several promising anomalies that may be indicative ofextraterrestrial intelligence.” (What did he say Martha?)

Imagineyour excitement if you happen to be sitting in front of your computer and allof a sudden a message pops up “TAKE ME TO YOUR LEADER.” What would ET know? ETis from out of town so you could just say, “hey, you are speaking to him.”Wouldn’t it be fun to be Global Potentate at least for a day? To learn more about this project go to http://setiathome.ssl.berkeley.edu/.There you can download the program that looks like a screen saver as itcrunches data from Arecibo.You can join the other millions plus researchers from around the world andmaybe, just maybe, you (or your computer) will be the one that first says helloto ET.

Now where is my Phaser?

2011-12-07T10:42:00.001-08:00

It's A Freaking War Out There!

Thebattle raged for hours. Hi tech weapons against an insidious enemy. The forcesof darkness were many and varied. Some were surprisingly simple and quicklyvanquished. Others fought back. When the big guns were brought in, they seemedto already know the weak points and spiked the fuses and prevented theircharges from firing. Still othersoffered up chimeras that were vaporized while the core forces of evil slithereddeep into the unseen depths of the battlefield. Still the battle rages on. Manywere Hydras that fought ferociously and then, when defeated, simply grewanother copy and rejoined the battle. Precious treasure was being held captiveso nuking the battlefield was out of the question. Time ticked on. One by one,the enemy was eliminated. Over and over again the soldiers of light swept thebattlefield.

Whowere these devils? They were not unknown. As they fell, their identities werediscerned. Strange sounding names, but vicious all the same. The deadliest wereviruses called Win32.Worm.Stuxnet.A, Worm.P2P.Palevo.FP and many more. Thencame a class of deviants called hijackers. They endeavored to seize the routesthat led to and from cyberspace and called themselves Zlob, Google Redirectionand Look2Me among many other names. Still more were found, including an entire division called CoolWWWSearchthat contained no less than a hundred known cells. And the battle still ragedon. Keyloggers rapidly stole and recorded our keystrokes as we launched attackafter attack sending that information to some black hole in cyberspace whereour strategy was studied and plans for our defeat were plotted. They died bythe hundreds, PAL Keylogger Pro!, VIRUT and VIRUX just to name a few. And inside the gates of our world we foundTrojans bearing gifts. Deadly gifts, we discovered as we ascertained who theywere. Generic.dx,Adclicker.G and CyberDefender were just a few that were dispatched fromthe field of battle.

Ourlosses too were formidable. One of our mightiest warriors fell as he steppedfrom his chariot. Norton Antivirus will be remembered. Spybot S&D wasfinally victorious but not before messages were broadcast by the enemy thatSpybot had fallen. We nearly despaired. Lavasoft fought bravely and well but was unable to overcome all the darkforces. Malwarebytes wielded a mighty sickle and sent many to Valhalla.Microsoft Security Essentials picked up the sword from the fallen Norton andthe enemy felt his wrath. Finally, fewer and fewer of the enemy were found.Hundreds of thousands of hiding places had to be checked one by one.

Notwishing to focus on minutiae, but to see an overview of the broad results, welooked at the totals. Two hundred and fifty three viruses had beenextinguished. Over eleven hundred spyware entities had been laid to rest.Still, one hijacker escaped but our forces needed to regroup and analyze thebattle. We will prepare a strategy to find and destroy Personal Antispy tomorrow.Right now our concern is to ensure that the defeated ones do not make entryback to our world. Our anti-virus program set up firewalls and manned the bulwarkssurrounding our world. Our Router from Linksys establishes a Barbican, or inour Hi-tech language, a hardware firewall outside the gates. Spybot closes theknown entry points that are used by some of the scum we have obliterated. Wehide our addresses behind the firewall to make it more difficult for evil tofind us. Microsoft launches forces to close unused ports on our borders.Finally we feel more secure. We have done all that can be done today.

What do these forces of darkness want with us? They wantour money. Either directly by finding or tricking us into giving them ourcredit cards and bank accounts or by getting us to buy something that we didn’tknow we were buying. And, if they can’t get that from us, then they want to useour PC to attack other computers for nefarious purposes. What is their biggest ally? Our trust. Wetrust that no one would attack our PC. We trust that someone pointing us to aparticular item only has our best interest at heart, even though we have nevermet him or her.

The above story, while stylized andromanticized, is nonetheless true. Do not hesitate. Defend your PC. Antivirus,Spyware tools, firewalls (both hardware and software) and common sense can keepyou safe. Get them today.

Christmas Present that's better than a frying pan!

2011-12-05T12:24:00.001-08:00

This is where adventure meets good eats. Intrigue leads to culinary delights and hints of romance denied are fulfilled by platters of gastronomic enchantment. The plot twists and turns, simplicity of challenge is prelude to complex solutions that only a kitchen can provide. Our hero, the "Traveler," is tasked, tricked, tormented and finally at the end of the story he.... Come on now, you really didn't think you were going to get the last page here?

And another obviously cultured and enlightened individual has grabbed the opportunity to purchase Epicuria: Adventures That Really Cook! in time for Christmas. Available at myepicuria.com, amazon.com barnesandnoble.com or if you reside in Charlotte County Fl I still have about a dozen copies available for immediate pickup. (save the shipping cost.)

2011-12-05T06:08:00.001-08:00

Last Minute Christmas Idea!

Let me see a show of hands.How many of you have not finished your Christmas shopping? How many have noteven started Christmas shopping? How many (be honest) didn’t know Christmas wasonly a few days away? Yes, I know that Christmas Eve is the traditionalshopping day for many of us. Our favorite stores: Walgreens and theSeven/Eleven. Somehow a road map and a six pack just don’t say Merry Christmasthe way they used to. And one more time, a show of hands: didn’t you take anoath last year that future Christmases would find you prepared. With meaningful, well thought out gifts,acquired early enough to allow for pretty wrapping and heartfelt sentimentsexpressed on a card of timeless beauty?

So here we are, facinganother year of late night convenience store shopping and a quick MerryChristmas written on newspaper wrapping with a semi dried out Sharpie pen.(Martha, how did he know what you got last year?)

Maybe our faithful computercan alter our future despair. First weneed some supplies. Check into one of the local stores that carries officesupplies and pick up a twelve pack of Ink Jet T-shirt transfer paper. Next weneed either some plain t-shirts, aprons, gift bags or any other cotton orcotton / poly blend fabric item. Finally, and in this day of wash and wear thiscould be the tough part, we need an iron. (not the two iron from the golf bag)And let’s double check the ink cartridges in the printer to make sure we don’trun out half way through the job.

Now fire up the computer andopen your favorite creative program. For this example, I am going to use MSPublisher, but any desktop publishing program, even Word or Corel or anyprogram that allows you to create or manipulate pictures and text will do.

The best thing about this isthat each gift can be recipient specific. My first attempt will be for my niecewho inadvertently sent me a virus. I can find many pieces of clipart that fitmy needs at office.microsoft.com/clipart. Quickly I locate a clipart that showsa sickly computer. Next I download a clipart of an amoeba and superimpose itover the sick computer as if it is devouring the poor machine. Finally, I useWordArt to create text on an angle over the top of my computer and amoeba thatsays TYPHOID ALICIA. Underneath the pictures in small print are the words,“Your Uncle Still Loves You!” Next I use the grouping tool to take all theparts of my creation and group them together as one picture. Now I can size thewhole picture without having to size each picture individually.

After fine tuning my creationand sizing it to a dimension that will look good on a T-shirt, there is onevery important step that needs to be done. The entire picture must be rotatedhorizontally or put another way, it must print backwards so that when it isplaced on the T-shirt it will read correctly. Fortunately, these programs willflip the entire picture in one step.

We are getting close. Put asheet of Transfer paper into the printer, making sure that it is placedcorrectly so that the ink will go on the side that transfers. The paper ismarked to help identify the printed side. Before printing make sure to go intoyour printers print preferences and set the quality to High and Color and ifyour printer has a setting for transfer type paper set that as well. Click print and watch your design appear.

After the transfer is printedlay out the T-shirt on a solid surface that can withstand heat, position thetransfer on the material where you think it should be with the printed sideagainst the fabric.

Be forewarned: The next stepis the dangerous one. Carefully iron the transfer onto the fabric, followingthe instructions found in the pack of transfers. The iron is very hot. I canattest to this. One important safety note: Keep fingers out from under theiron. Did you know skin sizzles?

Wrap up the gift and send iton its way. They’ll love you for the thoughtful and individual Christmas gift.

I know my niece will.

2011-12-03T06:03:00.001-08:00

It's Christmas Time in Computerland!

It has begun. There is asense of anticipation building as we move ever closer to that one special dayeach year. Some of us, and we know who we are, live without worry or fearbecause our actions this past year have bordered on angelic. Others, and you knowwho YOU are, sit sullenly in their recliners conjuring up defenses for their transgressionsover the past twelve months. (She made me do it or I didn’t know that was a badthing or I didn’t put her pigtail too far into the inkwell.)

As I travel around the countyvisiting clients, more and more homes, businesses, boats and canals arefestooned with lights and decorations. It is tough to maintain a bah humbugattitude, but I am sure that some will try and perhaps succeed. But let’s getto the crux of the holiday. We have prepared our lists of things we really,really want and now it just comes down to waiting for ….Olde Saint Nick toarrive!

But what to do until thatjolly old fellow arrives? We still have some time before that magical flightbegins and as we all know, time passes evermore slowly the harder we wish itwould pass. Maybe our computer can help us keep our minds occupied while wewait.

If the joyous sounds of smallchildren are filling your home this year, (Gordon, stop pulling the dogs tail.)perhaps this site can quiet things down. (David, why are you writing on thewall?) A site located at http://christmas-coloring.com/ has a collection ofcoloring pages that can be printed and handed out to the kids. (Derek, stopeating the candy canes off the tree.) This should keep then occupied for a fewminutes.

We can also spend our timeproductively by playing the Santa Game. Simply point your browser to www.santagames.org.This is a web based game so there is nothing to download. (it requires MacromediaFlash to work, but if you don’t already have it, there is a link right therethat will install it for you.) This is a neat little game that allows you topick the country Santa should deliver presents to and then you have to try todrop the gifts down the chimneys as he flies over in his sleigh.

For those of us that attemptto make our own cards or greetings, we can find almost unlimited Christmas clipart from a variety of sources. My first attempt is usually by opening upGoogle, click on the tab that says Images and then type in a description of theclip art I am looking for. Example: Christmas Clip Art brought up 6480different pieces of clip art ranging from the jolly elf to sleighs, trees andsnow. (Martha, snow is a four letter word.)

For a lot of us, Christmas issomething that we noticed when we were just knee high to a grasshopper and ithas continued ever since. Where did some of the traditions, events, andcharacters that make up Christmas originate? A few of these answers can be foundat www.howstuffworks.com/christmas.htm. There we can find twenty some questionsranging from “Whatis Christmas?” to “Why does every mall have a Santa village, and why do kidscome sit on Santa's knee?”

One tradition that manyfollow is the decorating of a large tree. While the first fifty years or so wasfun, there has to be an easier way. With our computers there is a quick, funand enjoyable way to do just that. Go to www.santa.net/decorate.html and addlights, decorations and tree topper to the tree and then turn on the tree andall the lights blink and the ornaments become active.

But if you’re the hands oncrafty type and like to make the holiday decorations that give your home theone and only look instead of a branch of one of the local big box stores thengo to www.homeandfamilynetwork.com/Christmas.html. Here are all sorts ofdecorating ideas, things to make and recipes that will make the mouth water andthe waistline expand.

Now that we are all in theholiday spirit, and looking forward to a visit from Santa Claus, how will weknow where and when he is arriving? We don’t want the milk and cookies set outfor him to go bad. Make sure to visit and bookmark www.noradsanta.org. This isthe official North American Air Defense Command center that looks for andtracks Santa’s Christmas Eve journey. On Christmas Eve, you can watch Santatake off and travel to all the good/bad boys and girls homes delivering toys tosome and coal to others. (Martha, should I worry?)

Happy Holidays

2011-12-02T05:37:00.001-08:00

Use Disposable Email Accounts to Reduce Spam

Anonymity,privacy, need to know, it seems that despite laws to protect us like the HIPAform we fill out at the doctors office, every place we interact with wantsinformation that truly isn’t necessary. Example: I recently tried to download atrial version of a particular software. In order to receive the download, theywanted to know my full name, valid e-mail address, the level of my education,sex, marital status and a few other things that just aren’t any of theirbusiness.

Whydo they want this information? It would appear that the only use it could havewould be to send spam to my inbox and sell the e-mails and information lists toother spammers. Granted, targeted advertising based on the information Iprovide, but junk mail none the less. Some of the answers can be fun. Name, Iusually just pull one from what ever news article I happened to be reading orif the CEO of the company is listed on the website I’ll use theirs. Education:depending on whether it is a pull down with limited choices or a field thatmust be filled in, I have been kindergarten drop out to Doctor of AdvancedMatriculation. For the rest of the questions I just flip a coin. But the onequestion that poses more of a problem is the valid e-mail. Most of these companies send a test e-mail tothe account provided and if it is bounced back as a bad or non-existent accountthey will ask for a VALID e-mail address.

Formany years now I have had an e-mail account with one of the free e-mailproviders that I would provide in these situations and all the spam would gothere. I rarely check this e-mail address and eventually the provider wouldsend an e-mail to me saying that the inbox was full and if I didn’t log in atleast once in a while they would deactivate the account. However there isanother approach available that eliminates the maintenance of a junk mailaccount. These are called Disposable E-mail Accounts. (DEA)

DisposableE-mail Accounts are very easy to use. Two examples of DEAs can be found atmailinator.com or disposeamail.com. These sites set up a temporary e-mailaddress that requires no password or account information to use. They have noaddress book, no folders, nothing but an inbox. They also don’t require that wecreate an e-mail account with them first. For example: Imagine that we respondto an online survey by our favorite politician. At the end of the survey they want to know our e-mail address which willensure continuing request for money, I mean more critical surveys. In thee-mail field we can put randite@mailinator.com and a test to that address willreveal it to be a real e-mail address. If we really want to see anything sentto the e-mail address, just go to mailinator.com and type in randite@mailinator.comand click check mail. This is a greatway to fill in web-forms and at the same time prevent tons of spam fromappearing in our real inboxes.

Betteryet, thereare absolutely NO signups or registrations! These accounts are completelyanonymous. Any email received by DEAservers will automatically be directed to the correct inbox. The is norequirement to setup an inbox before you can receive mail

It’s like having our own personal cloaking device.

2011-12-01T14:26:00.001-08:00

Epicuria: Adventures That Really Cook!

My first book was released last May and has already exceeded my wildest expectations. This is a Cookbook with a story or a Novella with some good tasting recipes woven through the plot. This is where adventure meets good eats. Intrigue leads to culinary delights and hints of romance denied are fulfilled by platters of gastronomic enchantment. The plot twists and turns, simplicity of challenge is prelude to complex solutions that only a kitchen can provide. Our hero, the "Traveler," is tasked, tricked, tormented and finally at the end of the story he.... Come on now, you really didn't think you were going to get the last page here? To get your very own, author autographed copy of Epicuria: Adventures That Really Cook! Check out How to Buy Epicuria at www.myepicuria.com. This book is also available at Amazon.com and BarnesNoble.com. Believe me, it beats a heel pumice stone as a Christmas present. Get yours now!

About the Author

Court Nederveld was born a small child one dark and stormy night. There, got that bit of dribble out of my system. Epicuria is the culmination of an experiment in crossing the mundane with an unleashed imagination. I rarely know where my writing will find a topic. Former retired editor of the Punta Gorda Herald and now a freelance writer Gordon Bower may have pegged it spot on. "Mustangs, computer, food or a letter to the Queen of the Netherlands, the subject made no difference. As editor of his Bits & Bytes column and a variety of other musings for eight years, I can truthfully say he never failed to make me laugh." Currently living in Southwest Florida, I enjoy waking up each morning with no forwarning of what ideas may find their way onto my path. Enjoy!
Ever since reading Cross Creek Cookery by Marjorie Kinnan Rawlings, I have savored the mixture of recipe and story, and now I have feasted on a tasty second course: Epicuria: Adventures That Really Cook! by Court Nederveld. Whereas Rawlings uses an anecdotal format, Nederveld has concocted a delicious adventure in which his family's recipes serve as the magic ingredients to deliver him from Epicuria, a realm in the neighborhood of Alice's Wonderland. As a hero of unlikely kitchens, he tosses salads, bakes chicken, and whips up desserts to rescue unfortunates and beat villains. His quest is no half-baked fantasy, but rather a scrumptious metaphor for life. What else would I expect from a writer who bicycles 25 miles to eat Sunday breakfast at a cafe, established in 1929, in the historic town near my home--but that's an appetizer for another book!

--Carol Mahler, author of Guy LaBree: Barefoot Artist of the Florida Seminoles and Adventures in the Charlotte Harbor Watershed
Let's Eat! Ray Heisey - Pet Club Pro
Court Nederveld, a computer guru (but not a geek as he drives a Mustang) is a champion of writers dealing with all aspects of our new, technological world. A former student, member then Director of the Peace River Center for Writing, his new book is what we having been looking for.

John Pelot
Vice President, Peace River Center for Writers@Edison State College
Professor, English
Edison State College

Some neat search engine features

2011-12-01T07:10:00.001-08:00

Search engines: Tricks and Tips. 11/30/11

Doany of us really know the amazing things that we can do just by typing a fewkeystrokes? How many folks have experimented with search engines? Is itpossible that search engines such as Google, Bing and many others have someunique features that might amuse, amaze and enlighten? Strap in for a quicktour of some interesting search engine features.

Fireup Google (www.google.com) and type in any land line phone number. Google willdo a reverse lookup and display the name of the owner. There are other sitesthat will also provide this information such as www.anywho.com all for theamazing price of FREE. (Martha, that’s agreat price.)

Googlewill look up shipment tracking numbers and even airline schedules by simplytyping in the tracking numbers or flight number such as United Flight 1223.This can save us the chore of having to log in to the website and navigate tothe information we want. Google has incorporated into its search engine GoogleSuggests. This is an algorithm that compares what we type as we type it intothe search box with other search keywords. Google explains it this way. “Google'sautocomplete algorithm offers searches that might be similar to the one you'retyping. Start to type [ new york ] -- evenjust [ new y ] -- and you may be able to pick searches for "New York City," "New York Times," and"New York University" (to name just a few).”Typingin a long string? Google may suggest what we want before we finish typing. Simplyclick on the suggestion to have the search engine take us there.

Googleoffers some other very simple features with their search engine that can comein handy. Type “time Portland, Or, and Googlewill display the time in Portland. Type weather Miami, FL, Google displays the weather. Wantnews for our old hometown, type news Lancaster, Pa and up it pops. Remembercapitalization is not necessary to make this work. Same thing works for stockquotes, just type in the ticker symbol and the latest stock information isavailable. Want to see the latest news about an earthquake? To see information about recent earthquakes in a specificarea type “earthquake” followed by the city and state or U.S. zip code.For recent earthquake activity around the world simply type “earthquake” in thesearch box. Google offers many more search engine tricks. Surf over www.google.com/help/features.htmlto see a list of the features available, explanations and examples.

Bingis search engine available from Microsoft and it too has some helpful tricks.Bing will also do conversions right from the search field. Want to know howmany teaspoons in a cup, type in cup = teaspoons and Bing will deliver theanswer of forty eight. Looking for worddefinitions? Type define: Stertor and Bing will display the meaning of theword. Bing is so confident that users will prefer search results as presentedby Bing, even if we like and use the iGoogle home page, they have created a Firefox add-in toredirect a search typed into the Google search box to Bing for execution. If using Firefox as our Internet browserdownload and install the gBing add in to use this app.

BothGoogle, Bing and most search engines allow us to search by image instead oftext in response to our query. Open our search engine of choice, click on thetab labeled Images and start our search. Pictures that relate to our searchwill appear. In addition to displaying pictures in response to our query, theability to sort these images by size is a click of the mouse.

Justfor fun surf over to the Internet Archive (www.archive.org/) which is a searchengine that has been taking snapshots of the entire World Wide Web for yearsnow, allowing us to travel back in time to see what a web page looked like in1999, or what the news was like around Hurricane Katrina in 2005. I have usedYahoo since their inception and I was able to see what the website looked likethen. Ah memories.

Thereare many other search engines, hundreds in fact. Type “top search engines” intoany search field to see a list of companies that serve up Internet results toour burning questions. Each engine may display different results and one may bemore relevant than another. The world’s knowledge is at our fingertips.

Whatdo you want to know today?