Dave–Are You There? Trick or Treat!

My client listened intently as I outlined, described and demonstrated the method that would allow his computer to achieve the result desired. Head nodding, eyes wide and feet fidgeting told me that despite my brilliant colloquium, anguish and fear still lurked. What, I wondered had happened to cause such torment? Was there something deeper, darker, and even sinister that spread its fiendish witchery from the processors and chips inside the box to the world outside? I pondered how to break down the dungeon walls so that my client could meld with the machine.

As I stood there, I rested my hand on the tower, only to feel the cemetery chill of the metal. For no reason at all, a phantasm of Pandora’s Box formed in my mind’s eye, unleashing all the horrors of the world. But no, surely this computer was benevolent. There has never been a computer that turned on its owners, has there? No sooner had I framed the question and HAL from the movie 2001 A Space Odyssey. The HAL9000 destroyed the crew of the spaceship and hijacked the mission. I assured myself that it was just a movie. Rarely does science fiction become reality. Or does it?

But my goal was to make client and computer partners if not friends. I needed to deflect any unreasonable fears he may have. “The computer is a tool, at our command,” I said. Of course the movie Colossus starred a computer that took over the world by seizing control of all the worlds’ nuclear weapons and threatening to launch them if it was disobeyed. But again, futuristic imagination doesn’t necessarily mean a future reality does it?

Our psyches were formed by stories of inhuman experiments that created hybrid humans, endowed with horrible yearnings and ideas. But we needn’t fear our computers. They have barely evolved. Sure, fifteen years ago they were glorified adding machines. Today, these Frankenstein machines boast of using fuzzy logic to understand their human’s desires. I had a teacher once that spoke of my fuzzy logic and it wasn’t a good thing. If it takes only fuzzy logic for them to understand us, how can we understand their pure and precise logic? (Martha, how do you spell paranoia?)

John F. Kennedy said, “I am sorry to say that there is too much point to the wisecrack that life is extinct on other planets because their scientists were more advanced than ours.“ Now the hair on my neck is starting to stand. Is it possible computers could take over the world? No, wait we can always pull the plug. But what if they are solar or nuclear powered with power storage backups. What if we can’t pull the plug? Or can’t pull it in time? Hold on, let’s get a grip.

I think that I may be letting my imagination get away from me. Let’s think this through. For computers to take over and control humans, it would imply that machines had evolved a purpose. A purpose! Most of us couldn’t define our own purpose. How is a machine going to gain a purpose? I feel much better now. I finish my appointment and head home. Sticking the key in the lock I open the door and there is my robotic vacuum cleaner PURPOSEFULLY moving around the room, learning where the furniture, steps and doors are and the perimeter of the room. It moves methodically, vacuuming every inch of the floor until it is done and then announces that the job is complete.

Is it such a leap from a horseshoe crab looking robot vacuum cleaner to some higher form? Look at the recent contest sponsored by the military where vehicles, cars, trucks even a GM Hummer, had to maneuver hundreds of miles over a variety of terrains and do it with NO human guidance. Last year no machine made the finish, this year seven made it. Even when their GPS guidance systems were blocked these machines were able to figure out where they were and were they had to go. (Martha, they did not stop for directions.) And from these thinking, self guiding vehicles to robots with humanoid forms, is it truly such a large leap? The movie Westworld depicts an entire theme park where no one can tell the difference between the robots and the humans. Did I say no one? The robots knew the difference and used that knowledge to wipe out the humans.

Excuse me a moment, my computer is calling me and telling me I have some things that must be done right now….or else.

Happy Halloween.

By the way, reports continue to pour in that Grumbles from the Keyboard may, in addition to helping us understand our computers and the Internet, relieve constipation. Many readers have told me that they keep a copy of Grumbles right beside the commode and read at least a chapter a day. Try it, it may brighten your day.

Grumbles From The Keyboard: How I Learned To Stop Worrying And Love My Computer: Courtland Nederveld: 9781467985895: Books ISBN: 1467985899 ISBN-13: 9781467985895

After all that reading, there may be a feeling of hunger. If that is the case, try Epicuria, Adventures that Really Cook!, It’s not your mothers cookbook. In fact, it combines story telling with some good home cooking so it may be in a genre by itself.

Epicuria: An Adventure That Really Cooks!: Court Nederveld: 9781456561734: Books ISBN: 1456561731 ISBN-13: 9781456561734

Things to do on a Rainy Day

Rain, we need it, but it does put a damper on some of our favorite activities, at least the outdoor ones. What is a person to do on a sodden day? Well, since this is a computer column, let’s see if there isn’t some fun and exciting things to do on or with our computer. Here is a list of stuff to do on a rainy day.

First and foremost, backup files, pictures or anything else you don’t want to lose. I know, boring! But think of three of your neighbors last week that called me with computers that would not run. Only one had backups of all their files and after a new hard drive was installed we were able to move the back upped files to the new drive and they were up and running. No fuss, no muss. But, the other two, no backups. Fortunately, or not, I have some equipment and software that allows me to attempt to recover information from a non functional drive. On one of these hard drives, my software spent twenty-nine hours snatching files until the hard drive finally stopped permanently. I probably recovered sixty- five percent of their data. The other drive, I was able to get virtually all of the files they needed. So, while it is raining, stick in a flash drive or a CDrom or go to drive.google.com for five gigabits of free online storage, or Skydrive for seven gigs to store documents and spreadsheets online also for FREE and back up the important stuff.

How many folks are still using Microsoft’s Outlook Express to get their emails? Outlook Express or OE replaced Internet Mail and News in 1997 with the release of Internet Explorer 4. Over the last eighteen years it has seen few external changes even while many behind the scenes changes regarding security issues and filter capabilities were added. Outlook Express was a very important tool for computer users back when we paid for Internet time by the minute. (Don’t even remember that it was so long ago.) We would open OE, it would immediately dial out, grab our emails and then hang up. We could then read the emails at our leisure, reply to them, create new messages, all without paying for online time. When we were ready, we would hit the send and receive button, OE would dial out and send our messages, grab any new messages and hang up again. Outlook Express disappeared from Windows Operating Systems with the introduction of Vista which brought us Windows Mail.

But today, with only five people still paying for Internet time by the minute, and only seven more still using a dial up connection to the Internet, Microsoft has raised the ante with the introduction of Windows Live Mail. Windows Live Mail is now bundled with the Windows 7 operating system so those with new computers are already using Windows Live Mail.

Email, for most people is the primary function for which the computer is used. As we receive more and more emails pertaining to everything from jokes, purchase receipts, to personal letters, the risks from bogus emails and the effort needed to manage and organize our email becomes ever more onerous. Windows Live Mail was designed to address these issues and some issues that are more commercially oriented. With thousands of messages in your inbox, trying to find that one e-mail message you want can be a challenge. This is especially true for saved e-mail, which might be months or years old. Windows Live Mail includes a built-in Instant Search field. Type in a keyword and Instant Search will find and list all the emails that match the keyword.

Windows Live Mail also includes a built-in Junk Mail Filter that automatically screens e-mail to identify and separate out junk e-mail. In the past the user needed to train the filters to identify junk mail before it would block the junk emails. Windows Live Mail uses preconfigured filters that are continually updated via Windows updates and starts catching junk emails from the first time we use it.

Appearance of the new mail program is web like. Very modern and high tech looking which makes Outlook Express look antiquated. Windows Live Mail is one of the programs bundled into Windows Live Essentials. To download and install a copy of Windows Live Mail, or any of the other programs available in that suite, go to http://windows.microsoft.com/en-US/windows-live/essentials-other-programs. Your computer must be running Windows XP-SP3, Vista and if you have Windows 7 there is an excellent probability that Windows Live Mail and other pieces of the suite are already installed.

I think the rain has stopped.

Grumbles From The Keyboard: How I Learned To Stop Worrying And Love My Computer: Courtland Nederveld: 9781467985895: Books ISBN: 1467985899 ISBN-13: 9781467985895

Epicuria: An Adventure That Really Cooks!: Court Nederveld: 9781456561734: Books ISBN: 1456561731 ISBN-13: 9781456561734

In 1964 They Promised Me a Video Phone

“Peek-a-boo I see you.” “Grandma, look at me!” The sounds of Christmas we enjoy as much as the songs and sleigh bells. Watching wrapping paper fly, and new toys sliding along the floor entertains us for hours. But what if we can’t make that trip to the children this year? How about their birthdays? Wouldn’t it be nice to participate in the party even if we can’t be there in person? It would be extra special to see a child’s first steps or the first words spoken.

Families are scattered all over the country now and sometimes, scheduling, cost or physical limitations make impossible for us to physically attend these special events. Some of us even have to work and that really interferes with our free time. Maybe our computers can offer a solution for the next best thing to being there.

A few years ago, Webcams were just starting to appear and were priced in the stratosphere. Today they are easily within the reach of almost everyone or even built in to almost every laptop, cell phone and tablet. Additionally, for those bordering on technological befuddlement, the installation and set up is almost automatic. About the only thing we need to do is plug it in, maybe run a cdrom, (although even that is rapidly fading) and make sure we have a broadband Internet connection.

Webcams have truly come a long way. Businesses now use webcams for corporate communication; daycares use them to allow parents to keep an eye on their children; universities hold classes via webcam all over the world. Dog kennels allow remote viewing of the precious little barker. I even have a webcam in the garage so I can ask and show what I am trying to do to my friends who can then help me restore my truck. If there is something that you would like to monitor remotely, a Webcam makes it easy.

The key to using a webcam for communication is an instant messaging program. There are many IM programs available but usually both ends of a Webcam need to use the same program. I use Skype just because almost everyone has it, it is a Microsoft product and it is FREE (love that word, Martha) and is readily available to anyone running Windows or a Mac. However, there is AOL’s Instant Messenger (AIM), Yahoo Messenger, Logitech Messenger, Windows Messenger and many more. They all work well, but again to communicate both webcams, yours and the one at the grandkids house should be using the same program.

Let’s set up a webcam. First we need to purchase one. A quick run through the local big box store found webcams from $10 to $70. Of course if the kids don’t have one, you may need two. Price determines the features available on the camera. Example: The $10 unit has a picture resolution of 100 kilo pixel while the $25 unit has things like pixel resolution at 640 x 480 and frames per second at 30 FPS. Most webcams on the market can capture still photos in addition to video. Check a webcam’s snapshot resolution. Higher-end models can capture photos at many megapixels. Webcams often have built in microphones or a separate headset and microphone to help us experience a true video call and add our voice to a chat session. Many webcams offer some cool extra features such as a quick call button that will activate a call to a land line although calls to land lines cost extra while a video call from computer to computer is still FREE. Can’t sit still? Turn on face tracking. This is a feature that allows the webcam to automatically follow your face.

Next get an IM client. Unlike webcams, most of them are free. If you’re running Windows or Mac Skype works well: a lot of people use it, it’s compatible with nearly every webcam made, and it allows you to connect with friends who are using Messenger or Yahoo! Messenger. To install Skype, go to the website (Skype.com) and follow the instructions to create an account and download the latest version.

Once you’ve got Skype up and running, all you need is to sign into you Skype account and start chatting. Now connect the webcam to a computer via a USB slot. Most webcams requires a driver to run it. (The driver is typically included on the installation CD that comes with the webcam, or you can download a driver from the manufacturer's website.) Follow these steps to start your webcam. Open Skype, sign in with your username and password, click on the Tools menu and then click Audio and Video setup. Follow the prompts and if you see a video feed streaming from your webcam, you’re done with the onetime set up. Now you can communicate just like the video phones promised us at the 1964 Worlds Fair.

Now where is my flying car?

Grumbles From The Keyboard: How I Learned To Stop Worrying And Love My Computer: Courtland Nederveld: 9781467985895: Books ISBN: 1467985899 ISBN-13: 9781467985895

Epicuria: An Adventure That Really Cooks!: Court Nederveld: 9781456561734: Books ISBN: 1456561731 ISBN-13: 9781456561734

IE9 It’s better than creamed cheese.

John F. Kennedy said “Change is the law of life. And those who look only to the past or present are certain to miss the future.” How true this is. Change can be subtle and virtually unnoticed, such as when we age. We simply wake up one morning, look in the mirror and wonder who is staring back. Sometimes change hits us like a freight train. Hurricane Charley is a good example. In a matter of hours, Charlotte County and Punta Gorda made changes that probably would have taken decades by any other method. Stores we used to shop at were gone. Vacant lots sprang up like weeds in our yards. But even that began to change. New stores, new homes, new roofs all began to flower as though from a freshly tilled garden. In a few years, we will barely remember the way it used to be.

Many computer users have also noticed a change recently. Up till a few months ago, we would dutifully say yes whenever Microsoft notified us of an update that was available to download and install. For the most part the changes were behind the scenes, closing security flaws or patching some code that wasn’t quite right. One day an update is announced, we unquestionably download and install it. At the end of the installation we are prompted to restart our computer. Here comes the desktop, and we prepare to surf the Internet. Probably didn’t even notice that our big blue Internet Explorer icon has a gold band around it now that wasn’t there before. And then the window opens and WHAT! It’s changed. Where is everything? Where oh where is my old Internet Explorer 8? How could they do this to me?

Take a deep breath. Sit back in the chair for a moment. Close your eyes and picture the old Professional building in Punta Gorda, ugly but functional. Now picture the new Sunloft building, beautiful and even more functional. IE9 is just that. It looks slicker, it is organized better in presenting to the user the features they actually use and it has some pretty neat bells and whistles that didn’t exist before. And before you break down and cry, please remember that everything that was in the old IE8 is still available in IE9.

Let’s look at IE9 as it comes out of the box then we can try to personalize the way it works to fit our expectations.

The first thing we'll notice when we open Internet Explorer 9 is the simplified design. We can find most command bar functions, like Print or Zoom, when we click the Tools button , and our favorites and feeds appear in Favorites Center when we click the Favorites button .

Next, take a look in the upper right hand corner. There is no longer a small search box there. Type in something in the URL bar and the default search provider will search the web and bingo it takes us right to it. The nice thing is that we can control the default search engine. If we don’t do anything the default will be Microsoft’s Bing. If we prefer Yahoo or Google or any other of the myriad search engines just click on the little down arrow next to the search field and select “Change Search Defaults.” Now to un-clutter the window you can uninstall all the toolbars by Google, My Web Search, Yahoo etc., because it is now built into IE9. Another missing item in the standard install of IE9 is the button on the toolbar that allows us to call up our email program. To get it back just right click on an empty area near the top of the browser and from the menu put a check mark next to Command Bar. One of the toolbars I recommend is the Status Bar which appears at the bottom of the browser window. While we are there we can add the Menu Bar making our browser more IE8 like and why not add the Favorites Bar. (Martha, it sounds like a martini shop)

There are many other features that are new and very helpful. IE9 opens web pages in tabs. So to have multiple web pages open doesn’t require the opening of IE9 over and over, simply open a new tab and type the address in the URL address bar or click on one of our favorites and there it is without closing the previous tab. Because of multiple tabs a user may have more than one home page that will open up when we start the program. When I open IE9, my Yahoo page opens in one tab, my Hotmail opens in another and my website www.bitsandbytesonline.com in a third. There are many other neat features that I’ll cover in future columns.

I wonder what the future will bring when IE10 arrives shortly.

Grumbles From The Keyboard: How I Learned To Stop Worrying And Love My Computer: Courtland Nederveld: 9781467985895: Books ISBN: 1467985899 ISBN-13: 9781467985895

Epicuria: An Adventure That Really Cooks!: Court Nederveld: 9781456561734: Books ISBN: 1456561731 ISBN-13: 9781456561734