Grumbles From The Keyboard reviewed by Charlotte Sun.

Grumbles From The Keyboard was reviewed by Rachael Taft in the Charlotte Sun today. See the review here: http://www.grumblesfromthekeyboard.com/images/sunbookreview.pdf and order your copy either from the blog or www.grumblesfromthekeyboard.com or www.amazon.com or www.bn.com.

Are you ready for the NEW YEAR?

Court asVincent Van Gogh

New Year resolutions. We all make them; fewer still continue them and even less, perhaps none keep them all. An unknown author wrote, “Many people look forward to the new year for a new start on old habits.”  And another unknown author said, “A New Year's resolution is something that goes in one year and out the other.” But we are different aren’t we? We are computer users. We have a certain discipline that moves us forward.

Besides, I have discovered another method that allows me to keep my resolutions. I only make resolutions that can be accomplished in a very short defined time frame. Resolutions that have a beginning and an end spelled out in very succinct terms. For example: a person that sets an untenable resolution would be one that says, “I will lose weight this year.” No time frame, no defined actions, and no end date. No wonder we can’t keep these resolutions. But if we have a resolution defined, actionable and with a clear conclusion to it, we can accomplish it, and have the satisfaction of knowing we succeeded at something. 

Let me help you with some New Years Resolutions that you can accomplish while reading this column.

Resolution one: Since heat and moisture are two killers of computers, I resolve to check the area around the PC for anything that might contribute heat or moisture to the machine. A heat vent blowing on the PC or maybe a clothes dryer that heats up the area around the PC. Next take a look at the vents on the PC and around the cooling fan or fans to make sure that they are not blocked or filled with dust or dirt. Use a can of compressed air to blow the dust out of the fan and grill areas.

Resolution two: I will clean my mouse. If using a mechanical mouse, cleaning the goop from inside the mouse can prevent the pointer from moving erratically. Unscrew the ring on the bottom of the mouse and remove the ball. Inside there will be two or three plastic rollers. Scrape the accumulated gunk off the plastic rollers and then carefully use a cue tip dipped in some isopropyl alcohol to clean the rollers back to their original condition. Reinsert the ball and tighten the retaining ring back in place. Using a wireless mouse? When was the last time you changed the batteries if it has been a while change them now while everything is working so it doesn't die in the middle of that all important issue paper the president asked you for.

Resolution three: I will keep a clean keyboard. Pick up the keyboard, turn it upside down and shake it. This will allow the crumbs from your lunch to fall out, along with any paper clips, soda can tops, or small children that might have gotten into the keyboard. Next use some compressed air to remove dust and dirt. And if the keyboard is in a state that you are considering purchasing a new one, you can put the keyboard into the dishwasher, upside down, run it through a cycle and then use a hairdryer to dry it immediately afterwards. There is a 50/50 chance that your keyboard will work afterwards. If it does then you have a really clean keyboard. If it doesn’t, go buy that new keyboard you were thinking about anyway.

Resolution four: I will maintain my computer monitor. If using a CRT monitor, (not one of the flat screens) then check to make sure that vents are clear, wipe the case with something like 409 or Simple Green and if it has a degauss button push it. If you have an LCD monitor, use the same steps as above, but use isopropyl alcohol applied to a soft towel to GENTLY wipe the grease from the screen.

Resolution five: I will check my Power Surge Strip. Take a look at the strip. Look for any spots that look like they may have gotten hot or had something spilled on them. A damaged surge strip can still allow current to flow but may not protect your equipment in the event of a line surge. If you have any doubts, replace the strip. Better yet consider a battery backup. A good battery backup will have surge suppression built in and in the event of a power failure, will give you five or ten minutes to shut the PC down normally instead of crashing.

Resolution six: I will backup any critical data that I would be hard pressed to reconstruct. For example, immediately make a backup copy of your email address book. Now backup all your Favorites. How about all the documents that may be critical, back those up now as well. If nothing else put this information on a CD or a second hard-drive.

Now, make and do all these resolutions while you have my column in your hand. In no time flat all these tasks will be complete, the PC will love you and the satisfaction of doing a job well and completing it will keep you smiling for a week. Plus, if you act now, think of the look on your friends faces when you tell them you made six resolutions for the New Year and kept every single one.

One more very important resolution. These and many more tips and tricks are available in Grumbles From The Keyboard or How I Learned To Stop Worrying And Love My Computer. Buy it today, in fact there is a button to the right of this post that will get a copy on its way to you. Or visit www.grumblesfromthekeyboard.com, amazon.com or barnesandnoble.com.

Hello 2012!

The Night Before Christmas in Computerland

Twas the night before Christmas when all through the house,

lights flashed on the tower and even the mouse.
The Webcams were ready, installed with great care.
In hopes that grandkids would be virtually there.

The children were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of computer games danced in their heads;

Mamma in her rocker, a netbook on her lap.

To check Santa’s route on Norads’ tracking map.

Last minute shopping, I knew it would matter,
Receipts from the printer were spit with a clatter.
The e-mail program began to beep and flash,
Away to the desktop I flew in a dash,
An e-mail from Santa, I pulled from the cache.

The sleigh was loaded, the springs sitting low
Boxes of computer games, only kids know.

Dead Space II for Tommy, Pokemon for Sue,
Xbox, Wii, Playstation and Nintendo too.

Neither Mamma nor I had Santa forgot,

A wireless keyboard and mouse in the lot.
From a webcam mounted some far away place
An image so small, across the screen it did race.

What could it be I wondered, what would appear,
But a miniature sleigh, and eight tiny reindeer,

With a little old driver, so lively and quick,
I knew in a moment it must be St. Nick.

I toggled the volume and turned it up loud
As his digital facade flew over the clouds

At the speed of Moore’s law his coursers they came,
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;
"Now, Dell! now, Gates! now, Jobs and Wosniak!
On, Bezos! on Ellison! on, Hewlett and Packard!
To the top of the toolbar! the top of the screen!

Now pixels are changing, amazed by it all!

The picture expanded as closer he drew

His exact location surely only he knew.
But Google Street view offered a hopeful clue.
Just a click of the mouse, our house was in view.

With the sleigh full of downloads, upgrades and such

St. Nicholas too, might it be just too much?
The broadband was humming the router secure
A shiny new computer I’m sure will allure

Firewalls open for the jolly red elf.

Presents are coming, surely some for myself.
And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof
The prancing and pawing of each little hoof.

A mystery for sure I pondered aloud.
Could Santa be real an answer I vowed.
An Internet search for the jolly St. Nick
“Santa Claus: could he be real” should turn the trick

Pages and pages of results did appear

To read them all might take ‘til Christmas next year.
My eyelids grew heavy then started to droop,
A short nap was needed so I could regroup.

Foggy and confused from my slumber I stirred,

“You’ve got mail,” from the speakers I heard.
An e-mail from Santa’s own smartphone it said,
A tight schedule barred his waking me he pled.
Presents for all under the tree he had spread.
Click here for a live video feed of the sled.

The digital image danced and sparkled bright.

Santa driving his sleigh on its magical flight.
But I heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight,
"Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good-night."

 

IT"S HERE! Around 4 pm and there was a delivery from UPS. That's right, 100 copies of Grumbles From The Keyboard or How I Learned To Stop Worrying And Love My Computer. The book Charlotte County has been waiting for. 89 columns culled from over three hundred columns written over the last six years, updated, expanded and catagorized. Plus a few more interesting features. More information is available at www.grumblesfromthekeyboard.com Autographed copies of the book may be purchased at that address, or by contacting the author directly. Alternately it can be purchased at www.amazon.com, barnesandnoble.com and https://www.createspace.com/3732764. Look inside is available at amazon.com

There are only 87 left to autograph as of tonight. Makes a great Christmas present. Far better than that subscription to a weight loss magazine.

Look What's Coming!

Due to arrive next week sometime is the book computer users have been waiting for. Grumbles From The Keyboard or How I learned to stop worrying and love my computer. From the author of the Bits and Bytes column read each week in the Charlotte Sun newspaper comes that collection of the best columns over the last six years. Updated, expanded and categorized this book can easily replace that folder of yellowing columns that were cut from the paper faithfully each week. There is also a vocabulary builder within each chapter so that you can discuss computer matters intelligently with out the grand kid looking at you with that "How did these people survive?" look. And that's not all folks. At the back of the book is a handy form for helping us remember all the websites, usernames and passwords that we never remember today.

For more information go to Grumbles From The Keyboard. The book is available at amazon.com, barnesandnoble.com or from www.grumblesfromthekeyboard.com where it will be autographed by the author.

Here is what Chris Porter, Executive Editor, Charlotte Sun Newspapers said about Grumbles From The Keyboard, "I can't count the number of people I've heard from who have been helped by Court Nederveld's helpful, useful and well-written columns in the Sun. We've received countless thank-you notes over the years, and that accounts for only a fraction of the number of people who have benefited from reading it. We really get the calls when we move his column and people can't find it."

Tick Tock - Do We Really Know What Time It Is?

Tick tock. Tick tock. “Time Has Come Today” sang the Chambers Brothers in 1968. Chicago harmonized with “Does Anybody Know What Time It Is?” Then followed their question with “Does Anybody Care?” Van Halen’s musical entreaty was “Don’t Waste My Time.” In 1974 Jim Croce sang about saving Time In A Bottle. Time, is something that we either have too much of or don’t have enough of. How many times have you said, “I just plain ran out of time?” Or “I didn’t realize what time it was.” Or my favorite, “Time just got away from me.”

Tick Tock, tick tock. What is time? Time keeps everything from happening all at once. Without time you wouldn’t be able to remember the past. Or for that matter, even with time, why can’t we remember the future? Time also has different speeds. Time flies, or time just drags by. We even say that time stands still. Sometimes we lose time, or gain time. We give certain time specific events names such as Christmas Time or Bed Time or Lunch Time. So with all this importance placed on Time, how do we know what time it is?

Tick Tock, tick tock. Check your wristwatch. What time does it say? Now, look at the kitchen clock. Is it ahead or behind your watch? How about the clock in the dining room? Still a different time? Now look at your VCR. I bet for most of you it says twelve o’clock. (Is he a mind reader Martha?) “So what,” you say? Does it really matter if we are five or ten minutes late or early? Two thousand years ago, two buddies would say, meet me under the big tree at the new moon. So you would get there a few days early, camp and wait because no one could actually tell the exact moment of the new moon. Time then was plus or minus a few days. (So what are five or ten minutes?)

Do you have Onstar in your car, or GPS on your boat? Did you know that your position in the world to within a few feet is calculated by measuring the time it takes for signals to bounce from you to satellites in orbit? Stephen Dick, the United States Naval Observatory's historian, points out that each nanosecond – one billionth of a second -- of error translates into a GPS error of one foot. If the satellite time is off by the same five or ten minutes as the clocks in your house, Onstar might send your tow truck to Tampa, or Sea Tow might be looking in the Atlantic instead of Charlotte Harbor.

All right, how do I actually know what time it is? The genuine official keeper of time is the United States Naval Observatory. Here they currently have fifty-nine atomic clocks from which they calculate an average and answer Chicago’s question. This is the official world time.  And here is the answer to your next trivia question. Of the fifty-nine atomic clocks currently used, ten of them are hydrogen masers and forty-nine are HP-5071 cesiums. (Gesundheit!) No, I don’t know what a hydrogen maser is either. But, these clocks must be accurate because it is predicted that the average of these clocks will be off by one second every six million years. So…

If you are running Windows XP, double click on the time in the lower right hand corner. A dialog box will open up and there will be a tab labeled Internet Time. Click on it and put a check in the box that says automatically synchronize with an Internet Time Server. Below that you can see two servers listed, time.windows.com or time.nist.gov. Choose which ever you wish and let your computer set its clock with the atomic clocks and display the most accurate time currently possible. (Now go set the rest of the clocks in the house.) For those using Windows Vista or 7, click on the date and time in the lower right corner. A box opens up displaying a clock and calendar. Click on the link labeled “Change Time and Date Settings.   A new dialogue box opens and there are buttons to change time and date and time zone. At the top of the dialogue box are some additional tabs one allows us to display multiple clocks and the other allows us to change the Internet time server that our prompt digital domestique uses to keep accurate its clock.

Until next time.   And, oh by the way, don’t be late.

Have you completed your Christmas shopping yet? Is that chia pet calling your name? How about a bottle of corn remover for that one you love. No? Then how about an autographed copy of Epicuria: Adventures That Really Cook!? This is where adventure meets good eats. Intrigue leads to culinary delights and hints of romance denied are fulfilled by platters of gastronomic enchantment. The plot twists and turns, simplicity of challenge is prelude to complex solutions that only a kitchen can provide. Our hero, the "Traveler," is tasked, tricked, tormented and finally at the end of the story he.... Come on now, you really didn't think you were going to get the last page here? To get your very own, author autographed copy of Epicuria: Adventures That Really Cook! Check out How to Buy Epicuria at www.myepicuria.com. This book is also available at Amazon.com. Order it today!

Want to be a Space Scientist? Now you can!

Have you ever noticed that when people are introduced to other people, the intro goes something like this? This is John Doe, he is a pedicurist, or meet Jane Doe, she is the head of marketing for the Women’s Fashion Department at Wal-Mart, or this is Sam Doe, he is retired but is consulting for the golfers at Riverside. Now what did that all mean. John paints toenails, Jane sells women’s lingerie and Sam is a caddy at the golf course. How people see us is defined by what we do. And if what we do isn’t sexy enough, we change the description to give it a bit more pizzazz.   

How would you like to be introduced this way? Hi, this is Susie Brilliant. She is a researcher for SETI, the very important project that searches the heavens for extraterrestrial intelligence. Your mother would probably shorten it to “My daughter the space scientist.” Think about sitting at a bar and listening to endless chatter about how many barrels of beer were delivered or how many orders were processed etc. You slightly nod your head and mention, “ by the way I processed several terrabytes of data from the Arecibo Radio Telescope today and found several promising anomalies that may be indicative of extraterrestrial intelligence.” (What did he say Martha?)

What does all that have to do with computers? Most of you, especially those with broadband or DSL connections, use only the bare minimum capabilities of your computer. How often have you seen the screen saver pop up and run for hours while you are off doing something else? To prove my point, if you are running Windows XP, perform a CTLR/ALT/Delete to bring up the task manager, then look at the performance tab and the section that says CPU usage and I am willing to say that it displays no more than four to eight percent of total capacity. This is especially true of those that use computers just for email and surfing the web. Why not put this ninety to ninety five percent idle computing power to good use?

Now you can. SETI, the Search for Extraterrestrial Intelligence uses the Arecibo Radio Telescope in Puerto Rico to collect gazillions of bits of data representing radio signals from all over the galaxy. Within these radio signals they are looking for the one signal that might say “Hello Earth, this is Tau Ceti II calling.” Normally, this would require massive supercomputers to sort and define these signals in an effort to find the one signal that might represent a hello from ET. The cost however would be prohibitive. SETI has developed a method where by pieces of this data can be downloaded from the Internet to millions of personal computers. Once on your computer, instead of your screen saver coming up during idle time, a small program analyzes and reports back on what it finds in the data downloaded from SETI. The program immediately gives up the task if you come back and need to use the computer to read your email.

Imagine your excitement if you happen to be sitting in front of your computer and all of a sudden a message pops up “TAKE ME TO YOUR LEADER.” What would ET know? ET is from out of town so you could just say, “hey, you are speaking to him.” Wouldn’t it be fun to be Global Potentate at least for a day?  To learn more about this project go to http://setiathome.ssl.berkeley.edu/. There you can download the program that looks like a screen saver as it crunches data from Arecibo. You can join the other millions plus researchers from around the world and maybe, just maybe, you (or your computer) will be the one that first says hello to ET.

Now where is my Phaser?

It's A Freaking War Out There!

The battle raged for hours. Hi tech weapons against an insidious enemy. The forces of darkness were many and varied. Some were surprisingly simple and quickly vanquished. Others fought back. When the big guns were brought in, they seemed to already know the weak points and spiked the fuses and prevented their charges from firing.  Still others offered up chimeras that were vaporized while the core forces of evil slithered deep into the unseen depths of the battlefield. Still the battle rages on. Many were Hydras that fought ferociously and then, when defeated, simply grew another copy and rejoined the battle. Precious treasure was being held captive so nuking the battlefield was out of the question. Time ticked on. One by one, the enemy was eliminated. Over and over again the soldiers of light swept the battlefield.

Who were these devils? They were not unknown. As they fell, their identities were discerned. Strange sounding names, but vicious all the same. The deadliest were viruses called Win32.Worm.Stuxnet.A, Worm.P2P.Palevo.FP and many more. Then came a class of deviants called hijackers. They endeavored to seize the routes that led to and from cyberspace and called themselves Zlob, Google Redirection and Look2Me among many other names.  Still more were found, including an entire division called CoolWWWSearch that contained no less than a hundred known cells. And the battle still raged on. Keyloggers rapidly stole and recorded our keystrokes as we launched attack after attack sending that information to some black hole in cyberspace where our strategy was studied and plans for our defeat were plotted. They died by the hundreds, PAL Keylogger Pro!, VIRUT and VIRUX just to name a few.  And inside the gates of our world we found Trojans bearing gifts. Deadly gifts, we discovered as we ascertained who they were. Generic.dx, Adclicker.G and CyberDefender were just a few that were dispatched from the field of battle.

Our losses too were formidable. One of our mightiest warriors fell as he stepped from his chariot. Norton Antivirus will be remembered. Spybot S&D was finally victorious but not before messages were broadcast by the enemy that Spybot had fallen. We nearly despaired.  Lavasoft fought bravely and well but was unable to overcome all the dark forces. Malwarebytes wielded a mighty sickle and sent many to Valhalla. Microsoft Security Essentials picked up the sword from the fallen Norton and the enemy felt his wrath. Finally, fewer and fewer of the enemy were found. Hundreds of thousands of hiding places had to be checked one by one.

Not wishing to focus on minutiae, but to see an overview of the broad results, we looked at the totals. Two hundred and fifty three viruses had been extinguished. Over eleven hundred spyware entities had been laid to rest. Still, one hijacker escaped but our forces needed to regroup and analyze the battle. We will prepare a strategy to find and destroy Personal Antispy tomorrow. Right now our concern is to ensure that the defeated ones do not make entry back to our world. Our anti-virus program set up firewalls and manned the bulwarks surrounding our world. Our Router from Linksys establishes a Barbican, or in our Hi-tech language, a hardware firewall outside the gates. Spybot closes the known entry points that are used by some of the scum we have obliterated. We hide our addresses behind the firewall to make it more difficult for evil to find us. Microsoft launches forces to close unused ports on our borders. Finally we feel more secure. We have done all that can be done today.

What do these forces of darkness want with us? They want our money. Either directly by finding or tricking us into giving them our credit cards and bank accounts or by getting us to buy something that we didn’t know we were buying. And, if they can’t get that from us, then they want to use our PC to attack other computers for nefarious purposes.  What is their biggest ally? Our trust. We trust that no one would attack our PC. We trust that someone pointing us to a particular item only has our best interest at heart, even though we have never met him or her.

 The above story, while stylized and romanticized, is nonetheless true. Do not hesitate. Defend your PC. Antivirus, Spyware tools, firewalls (both hardware and software) and common sense can keep you safe. Get them today.

Christmas Present that's better than a frying pan!

This is where adventure meets good eats. Intrigue leads to culinary delights and hints of romance denied are fulfilled by platters of gastronomic enchantment. The plot twists and turns, simplicity of challenge is prelude to complex solutions that only a kitchen can provide. Our hero, the "Traveler," is tasked, tricked, tormented and finally at the end of the story he.... Come on now, you really didn't think you were going to get the last page here?

And another obviously cultured and enlightened individual has grabbed the opportunity to purchase Epicuria: Adventures That Really Cook! in time for Christmas. Available at myepicuria.com, amazon.com barnesandnoble.com or if you reside in Charlotte County Fl I still have about a dozen copies available for immediate pickup. (save the shipping cost.)

Last Minute Christmas Idea!

Let me see a show of hands. How many of you have not finished your Christmas shopping? How many have not even started Christmas shopping? How many (be honest) didn’t know Christmas was only a few days away? Yes, I know that Christmas Eve is the traditional shopping day for many of us. Our favorite stores: Walgreens and the Seven/Eleven. Somehow a road map and a six pack just don’t say Merry Christmas the way they used to. And one more time, a show of hands: didn’t you take an oath last year that future Christmases would find you prepared.  With meaningful, well thought out gifts, acquired early enough to allow for pretty wrapping and heartfelt sentiments expressed on a card of timeless beauty?

So here we are, facing another year of late night convenience store shopping and a quick Merry Christmas written on newspaper wrapping with a semi dried out Sharpie pen. (Martha, how did he know what you got last year?)

Maybe our faithful computer can alter our future despair.  First we need some supplies. Check into one of the local stores that carries office supplies and pick up a twelve pack of Ink Jet T-shirt transfer paper. Next we need either some plain t-shirts, aprons, gift bags or any other cotton or cotton / poly blend fabric item. Finally, and in this day of wash and wear this could be the tough part, we need an iron. (not the two iron from the golf bag) And let’s double check the ink cartridges in the printer to make sure we don’t run out half way through the job.

 

Now fire up the computer and open your favorite creative program. For this example, I am going to use MS Publisher, but any desktop publishing program, even Word or Corel or any program that allows you to create or manipulate pictures and text will do.

The best thing about this is that each gift can be recipient specific. My first attempt will be for my niece who inadvertently sent me a virus. I can find many pieces of clipart that fit my needs at office.microsoft.com/clipart. Quickly I locate a clipart that shows a sickly computer. Next I download a clipart of an amoeba and superimpose it over the sick computer as if it is devouring the poor machine. Finally, I use WordArt to create text on an angle over the top of my computer and amoeba that says TYPHOID ALICIA. Underneath the pictures in small print are the words, “Your Uncle Still Loves You!” Next I use the grouping tool to take all the parts of my creation and group them together as one picture. Now I can size the whole picture without having to size each picture individually.

After fine tuning my creation and sizing it to a dimension that will look good on a T-shirt, there is one very important step that needs to be done. The entire picture must be rotated horizontally or put another way, it must print backwards so that when it is placed on the T-shirt it will read correctly. Fortunately, these programs will flip the entire picture in one step.

We are getting close. Put a sheet of Transfer paper into the printer, making sure that it is placed correctly so that the ink will go on the side that transfers. The paper is marked to help identify the printed side. Before printing make sure to go into your printers print preferences and set the quality to High and Color and if your printer has a setting for transfer type paper set that as well.  Click print and watch your design appear.

After the transfer is printed lay out the T-shirt on a solid surface that can withstand heat, position the transfer on the material where you think it should be with the printed side against the fabric.

Be forewarned: The next step is the dangerous one. Carefully iron the transfer onto the fabric, following the instructions found in the pack of transfers. The iron is very hot. I can attest to this. One important safety note: Keep fingers out from under the iron. Did you know skin sizzles?

Wrap up the gift and send it on its way. They’ll love you for the thoughtful and individual Christmas gift.

I know my niece will.

It's Christmas Time in Computerland!

It has begun. There is a sense of anticipation building as we move ever closer to that one special day each year. Some of us, and we know who we are, live without worry or fear because our actions this past year have bordered on angelic. Others, and you know who YOU are, sit sullenly in their recliners conjuring up defenses for their transgressions over the past twelve months. (She made me do it or I didn’t know that was a bad thing or I didn’t put her pigtail too far into the inkwell.)

As I travel around the county visiting clients, more and more homes, businesses, boats and canals are festooned with lights and decorations. It is tough to maintain a bah humbug attitude, but I am sure that some will try and perhaps succeed. But let’s get to the crux of the holiday. We have prepared our lists of things we really, really want and now it just comes down to waiting for ….Olde Saint Nick to arrive! 

But what to do until that jolly old fellow arrives? We still have some time before that magical flight begins and as we all know, time passes evermore slowly the harder we wish it would pass. Maybe our computer can help us keep our minds occupied while we wait.

If the joyous sounds of small children are filling your home this year, (Gordon, stop pulling the dogs tail.) perhaps this site can quiet things down. (David, why are you writing on the wall?) A site located at http://christmas-coloring.com/ has a collection of coloring pages that can be printed and handed out to the kids. (Derek, stop eating the candy canes off the tree.) This should keep then occupied for a few minutes.

We can also spend our time productively by playing the Santa Game. Simply point your browser to www.santagames.org. This is a web based game so there is nothing to download. (it requires Macromedia Flash to work, but if you don’t already have it, there is a link right there that will install it for you.) This is a neat little game that allows you to pick the country Santa should deliver presents to and then you have to try to drop the gifts down the chimneys as he flies over in his sleigh.

For those of us that attempt to make our own cards or greetings, we can find almost unlimited Christmas clip art from a variety of sources. My first attempt is usually by opening up Google, click on the tab that says Images and then type in a description of the clip art I am looking for. Example: Christmas Clip Art brought up 6480 different pieces of clip art ranging from the jolly elf to sleighs, trees and snow. (Martha, snow is a four letter word.) 

For a lot of us, Christmas is something that we noticed when we were just knee high to a grasshopper and it has continued ever since. Where did some of the traditions, events, and characters that make up Christmas originate? A few of these answers can be found at www.howstuffworks.com/christmas.htm. There we can find twenty some questions ranging from “What is Christmas?” to “Why does every mall have a Santa village, and why do kids come sit on Santa's knee?”

One tradition that many follow is the decorating of a large tree. While the first fifty years or so was fun, there has to be an easier way. With our computers there is a quick, fun and enjoyable way to do just that. Go to www.santa.net/decorate.html and add lights, decorations and tree topper to the tree and then turn on the tree and all the lights blink and the ornaments become active.

But if you’re the hands on crafty type and like to make the holiday decorations that give your home the one and only look instead of a branch of one of the local big box stores then go to www.homeandfamilynetwork.com/Christmas.html. Here are all sorts of decorating ideas, things to make and recipes that will make the mouth water and the waistline expand.

Now that we are all in the holiday spirit, and looking forward to a visit from Santa Claus, how will we know where and when he is arriving? We don’t want the milk and cookies set out for him to go bad. Make sure to visit and bookmark www.noradsanta.org. This is the official North American Air Defense Command center that looks for and tracks Santa’s Christmas Eve journey. On Christmas Eve, you can watch Santa take off and travel to all the good/bad boys and girls homes delivering toys to some and coal to others. (Martha, should I worry?) 

Happy Holidays

Use Disposable Email Accounts to Reduce Spam

Anonymity, privacy, need to know, it seems that despite laws to protect us like the HIPA form we fill out at the doctors office, every place we interact with wants information that truly isn’t necessary. Example: I recently tried to download a trial version of a particular software. In order to receive the download, they wanted to know my full name, valid e-mail address, the level of my education, sex, marital status and a few other things that just aren’t any of their business.

Why do they want this information? It would appear that the only use it could have would be to send spam to my inbox and sell the e-mails and information lists to other spammers. Granted, targeted advertising based on the information I provide, but junk mail none the less. Some of the answers can be fun. Name, I usually just pull one from what ever news article I happened to be reading or if the CEO of the company is listed on the website I’ll use theirs. Education: depending on whether it is a pull down with limited choices or a field that must be filled in, I have been kindergarten drop out to Doctor of Advanced Matriculation. For the rest of the questions I just flip a coin. But the one question that poses more of a problem is the valid e-mail.  Most of these companies send a test e-mail to the account provided and if it is bounced back as a bad or non-existent account they will ask for a VALID e-mail address.

For many years now I have had an e-mail account with one of the free e-mail providers that I would provide in these situations and all the spam would go there. I rarely check this e-mail address and eventually the provider would send an e-mail to me saying that the inbox was full and if I didn’t log in at least once in a while they would deactivate the account. However there is another approach available that eliminates the maintenance of a junk mail account. These are called Disposable E-mail Accounts. (DEA)

Disposable E-mail Accounts are very easy to use. Two examples of DEAs can be found at mailinator.com or disposeamail.com. These sites set up a temporary e-mail address that requires no password or account information to use. They have no address book, no folders, nothing but an inbox. They also don’t require that we create an e-mail account with them first. For example: Imagine that we respond to an online survey by our favorite politician.  At the end of the survey they want to know our e-mail address which will ensure continuing request for money, I mean more critical surveys. In the e-mail field we can put randite@mailinator.com and a test to that address will reveal it to be a real e-mail address. If we really want to see anything sent to the e-mail address, just go to mailinator.com and type in randite@mailinator.com and click check mail.  This is a great way to fill in web-forms and at the same time prevent tons of spam from appearing in our real inboxes.

Better yet, there are absolutely NO signups or registrations! These accounts are completely anonymous.  Any email received by DEA servers will automatically be directed to the correct inbox. The is no requirement to setup an inbox before you can receive mail

It’s like having our own personal cloaking device.

Epicuria: Adventures That Really Cook!

My first book was released last May and has already exceeded my wildest expectations. This is a Cookbook with a story or a Novella with some good tasting recipes woven through the plot. This is where adventure meets good eats. Intrigue leads to culinary delights and hints of romance denied are fulfilled by platters of gastronomic enchantment. The plot twists and turns, simplicity of challenge is prelude to complex solutions that only a kitchen can provide. Our hero, the "Traveler," is tasked, tricked, tormented and finally at the end of the story he.... Come on now, you really didn't think you were going to get the last page here? To get your very own, author autographed copy of Epicuria: Adventures That Really Cook! Check out How to Buy Epicuria at www.myepicuria.com. This book is also available at Amazon.com and BarnesNoble.com.      Believe me, it beats a heel pumice stone as a Christmas present. Get yours now!

About the Author

Court Nederveld was born a small child one dark and stormy night. There, got that bit of dribble out of my system. Epicuria is the culmination of an experiment in crossing the mundane with an unleashed imagination. I rarely know where my writing will find a topic. Former retired editor of the Punta Gorda Herald and now a freelance writer Gordon Bower may have pegged it spot on. "Mustangs, computer, food or a letter to the Queen of the Netherlands, the subject made no difference. As editor of his Bits & Bytes column and a variety of other musings for eight years, I can truthfully say he never failed to make me laugh." Currently living in Southwest Florida, I enjoy waking up each morning with no forwarning of what ideas may find their way onto my path. Enjoy!
Ever since reading Cross Creek Cookery by Marjorie Kinnan Rawlings, I have savored the mixture of recipe and story, and now I have feasted on a tasty second course: Epicuria: Adventures That Really Cook! by Court Nederveld. Whereas Rawlings uses an anecdotal format, Nederveld has concocted a delicious adventure in which his family's recipes serve as the magic ingredients to deliver him from Epicuria, a realm in the neighborhood of Alice's Wonderland. As a hero of unlikely kitchens, he tosses salads, bakes chicken, and whips up desserts to rescue unfortunates and beat villains. His quest is no half-baked fantasy, but rather a scrumptious metaphor for life. What else would I expect from a writer who bicycles 25 miles to eat Sunday breakfast at a cafe, established in 1929, in the historic town near my home--but that's an appetizer for another book!

--Carol Mahler, author of Guy LaBree: Barefoot Artist of the Florida Seminoles and Adventures in the Charlotte Harbor Watershed
Let's Eat! Ray Heisey - Pet Club Pro
Court Nederveld, a computer guru (but not a geek as he drives a Mustang) is a champion of writers dealing with all aspects of our new, technological world. A former student, member then Director of the Peace River Center for Writing, his new book is what we having been looking for.

John Pelot
Vice President, Peace River Center for Writers@Edison State College
Professor, English
Edison State College

Some neat search engine features

Search engines: Tricks and Tips. 11/30/11

Do any of us really know the amazing things that we can do just by typing a few keystrokes? How many folks have experimented with search engines? Is it possible that search engines such as Google, Bing and many others have some unique features that might amuse, amaze and enlighten? Strap in for a quick tour of some interesting search engine features.

Fire up Google (www.google.com) and type in any land line phone number. Google will do a reverse lookup and display the name of the owner. There are other sites that will also provide this information such as www.anywho.com all for the amazing price of FREE.  (Martha, that’s a great price.)

Google will look up shipment tracking numbers and even airline schedules by simply typing in the tracking numbers or flight number such as United Flight 1223. This can save us the chore of having to log in to the website and navigate to the information we want. Google has incorporated into its search engine Google Suggests. This is an algorithm that compares what we type as we type it into the search box with other search keywords. Google explains it this way. “Google's autocomplete algorithm offers searches that might be similar to the one you're typing. Start to type [ new york ] -- even just [ new y ] -- and you may be able to pick searches for "New York City," "New York Times," and "New York University" (to name just a few).”Typing in a long string? Google may suggest what we want before we finish typing. Simply click on the suggestion to have the search engine take us there.

Google offers some other very simple features with their search engine that can come in handy. Type “time Portland, Or, and Google will display the time in Portland.  Type weather Miami, FL, Google displays the weather. Want news for our old hometown, type news Lancaster, Pa and up it pops. Remember capitalization is not necessary to make this work. Same thing works for stock quotes, just type in the ticker symbol and the latest stock information is available. Want to see the latest news about  an earthquake? To see information about recent earthquakes in a specific area type “earthquake” followed by the city and state or U.S. zip code. For recent earthquake activity around the world simply type “earthquake” in the search box. Google offers many more search engine tricks. Surf over www.google.com/help/features.html to see a list of the features available, explanations and examples.

Bing is search engine available from Microsoft and it too has some helpful tricks. Bing will also do conversions right from the search field. Want to know how many teaspoons in a cup, type in cup = teaspoons and Bing will deliver the answer of forty eight.  Looking for word definitions? Type define: Stertor and Bing will display the meaning of the word. Bing is so confident that users will prefer search results as presented by Bing, even if we like and use the iGoogle home page,  they have created a Firefox add-in to redirect a search typed into the Google search box to Bing for execution.  If using Firefox as our Internet browser download and install the gBing add in to use this app.  

Both Google, Bing and most search engines allow us to search by image instead of text in response to our query. Open our search engine of choice, click on the tab labeled Images and start our search. Pictures that relate to our search will appear. In addition to displaying pictures in response to our query, the ability to sort these images by size is a click of the mouse.

Just for fun surf over to the Internet Archive (www.archive.org/) which is a search engine that has been taking snapshots of the entire World Wide Web for years now, allowing us to travel back in time to see what a web page looked like in 1999, or what the news was like around Hurricane Katrina in 2005. I have used Yahoo since their inception and I was able to see what the website looked like then. Ah memories.

There are many other search engines, hundreds in fact. Type “top search engines” into any search field to see a list of companies that serve up Internet results to our burning questions. Each engine may display different results and one may be more relevant than another. The world’s knowledge is at our fingertips.

What do you want to know today?