My client listened intently as I outlined, described and demonstrated the method that would allow his computer to achieve the result desired. Head nodding, eyes wide and feet fidgeting told me that despite my brilliant colloquium, anguish and fear still lurked. What, I wondered had happened to cause such torment? Was there something deeper, darker, and even sinister that spread its fiendish witchery from the processors and chips inside the box to the world outside? I pondered how to break down the dungeon walls so that my client could meld with the machine.
As I stood there, I rested my hand on the tower, only to feel the cemetery chill of the metal. For no reason at all, a phantasm of Pandora’s Box formed in my mind’s eye, unleashing all the horrors of the world. But no, surely this computer was benevolent. There has never been a computer that turned on its owners, has there? No sooner had I framed the question and HAL from the movie 2001 A Space Odyssey. The HAL9000 destroyed the crew of the spaceship and hijacked the mission. I assured myself that it was just a movie. Rarely does science fiction become reality. Or does it?
But my goal was to make client and computer partners if not friends. I needed to deflect any unreasonable fears he may have. “The computer is a tool, at our command,” I said. Of course the movie Colossus starred a computer that took over the world by seizing control of all the worlds’ nuclear weapons and threatening to launch them if it was disobeyed. But again, futuristic imagination doesn’t necessarily mean a future reality does it?
Our psyches were formed by stories of inhuman experiments that created hybrid humans, endowed with horrible yearnings and ideas. But we needn’t fear our computers. They have barely evolved. Sure, fifteen years ago they were glorified adding machines. Today, these Frankenstein machines boast of using fuzzy logic to understand their human’s desires. I had a teacher once that spoke of my fuzzy logic and it wasn’t a good thing. If it takes only fuzzy logic for them to understand us, how can we understand their pure and precise logic? (Martha, how do you spell paranoia?)
John F. Kennedy said, “I am sorry to say that there is too much point to the wisecrack that life is extinct on other planets because their scientists were more advanced than ours.“ Now the hair on my neck is starting to stand. Is it possible computers could take over the world? No, wait we can always pull the plug. But what if they are solar or nuclear powered with power storage backups. What if we can’t pull the plug? Or can’t pull it in time? Hold on, let’s get a grip.
I think that I may be letting my imagination get away from me. Let’s think this through. For computers to take over and control humans, it would imply that machines had evolved a purpose. A purpose! Most of us couldn’t define our own purpose. How is a machine going to gain a purpose? I feel much better now. I finish my appointment and head home. Sticking the key in the lock I open the door and there is my robotic vacuum cleaner PURPOSEFULLY moving around the room, learning where the furniture, steps and doors are and the perimeter of the room. It moves methodically, vacuuming every inch of the floor until it is done and then announces that the job is complete.
Is it such a leap from a horseshoe crab looking robot vacuum cleaner to some higher form? Look at the recent contest sponsored by the military where vehicles, cars, trucks even a GM Hummer, had to maneuver hundreds of miles over a variety of terrains and do it with NO human guidance. Last year no machine made the finish, this year seven made it. Even when their GPS guidance systems were blocked these machines were able to figure out where they were and were they had to go. (Martha, they did not stop for directions.) And from these thinking, self guiding vehicles to robots with humanoid forms, is it truly such a large leap? The movie Westworld depicts an entire theme park where no one can tell the difference between the robots and the humans. Did I say no one? The robots knew the difference and used that knowledge to wipe out the humans.
Excuse me a moment, my computer is calling me and telling me I have some things that must be done right now….or else.
Happy Halloween.
By the way, reports continue to pour in that Grumbles from the Keyboard may, in addition to helping us understand our computers and the Internet, relieve constipation. Many readers have told me that they keep a copy of Grumbles right beside the commode and read at least a chapter a day. Try it, it may brighten your day.
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Grumbles From The Keyboard: How I Learned To Stop Worrying And Love My Computer: Courtland Nederveld: 9781467985895: BooksAfter all that reading, there may be a feeling of hunger. If that is the case, try Epicuria, Adventures that Really Cook!, It’s not your mothers cookbook. In fact, it combines story telling with some good home cooking so it may be in a genre by itself.
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Epicuria: An Adventure That Really Cooks!: Court Nederveld: 9781456561734: Books
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